J.B. O'Neil > Quotes

“He left a fart trail floating in the air behind him, sort of like a shooting star. It was beautiful in a gross green-fart-trail kind of way. The poor kid who got his face farted into was completely knocked out with his head in a gas cloud.”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“no!”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“beans.”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“butt,”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“There are so many enemy ninjas chasing me. I started jumping from tree to tree, leaping so fast that the forest was turning into a green blur. I need to think of something fast! I am ninja, what do ninjas do in this situation? They remember their teachings. My master always told me the way of the ninja is to be as sneaky as possible, but when that doesn’t work create a fart cloud so smelly and thick that nobody could possibly follow you. So that’s what I did. As I ran, I focused all of my energy into making the stinkiest, smelliest, most eye-watering nose-burning butt rocket I could. I flew forward on my green fart jet leaving the other ninjas gagging. I could hear them”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“no! There are so many enemy ninjas chasing me. I started jumping from tree to tree, leaping so fast that the forest was turning into a green blur. I need to think of something fast! I am ninja, what do ninjas do in this situation? They remember their teachings. My master always told me the way of the ninja is to be as sneaky as possible, but when that doesn’t work create a fart cloud so smelly and thick that nobody could possibly follow you. So that’s what I did. As I ran, I focused all of my energy into making the stinkiest, smelliest, most eye-watering nose-burning butt rocket I could. I flew forward on my green fart jet leaving the other ninjas gagging. I could hear them coughing and yelling to each other—BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“They may have been made of gas, but they were as solid as anything hand crafted by the ninjas themselves. I made two and I knew that when I threw these, I could not miss. These stars had to fly true and had to hit their targets.”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“reporter said over the radio. “It appears that a single”
― J.B. O'Neil, Dog Farts: Pooter's Revenge - A Hilarious Book for Kids Age 7-9

“BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“My stomach was already telling me that this was going to be a farty day. I just hoped Bobby Buttz-Cratcher wasn’t there.”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“Ninja Farts to the Rescue!”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“Snotrocket,”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“Me…Ninja Fart Master!”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“Oh no! There are so many enemy ninjas chasing me. I started jumping from tree to tree, leaping so fast that the forest was turning into a green blur. I need to think of something fast! I am ninja, what do ninjas do in this situation? They remember their teachings. My master always told me the way of the ninja is to be as sneaky as possible, but when that doesn’t work create a fart cloud so smelly and thick that nobody could possibly follow you.”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“Dream…”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9

“Ninja Farts”
― J.B. O'Neil, Ninja Farts: Silent But Deadly - A Hilarious Book for Kids Ages 7-9