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“Wait 20 seconds to respond to anything your victim says. Don’t count, just stare at them blankly.”
Full Sea Books, The One Minute Prank Book! 250 Quick and Easy Pranks & Practical Jokes
“The Seven Dwarfs were all in the bathtub feeling happy; so Happy got out.”
Full Sea Books, The BIG Triple Joke Book - 1,289 Funny Jokes, Fun Facts & Brain Teaser Riddles!
“So many people die but you don’t die.” (I wish you didn’t exist) – China”
Full Sea Books, Hollywood’s Favorite Insults and More: The Greatest TV & Movie Insults!
“You no-business, born-insecure, junkyard motha-f***a!” – Dolemite (1975) “You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, f***-face, dickhead, asshole.” –  A Fish Called Wanda (1988)”
Full Sea Books, Hollywood’s Favorite Insults and More: The Greatest TV & Movie Insults!
“I think your only real problem is that you exist!”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“May your penis fall off when you are asleep” – Croatia”
Full Sea Books, Hollywood’s Favorite Insults and More: The Greatest TV & Movie Insults!
“Put a note on your victim’s car that says “Sorry about the dent. Call me to swap insurance details”.  Include a fake name and number. (Or, put a note on somebody else’s car and leave your victim’s phone number.)”
Full Sea Books, The One Minute Prank Book! 250 Quick and Easy Pranks & Practical Jokes
“You! Off my planet!”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“Be quiet! I’m trying to imagine you with intelligence.”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“The Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men with their hands on each other’s shoulders.”
Full Sea Books, The BIG Triple Joke Book - 1,289 Funny Jokes, Fun Facts & Brain Teaser Riddles!
“Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.”
Full Sea Books, The BIG Triple Joke Book - 1,289 Funny Jokes, Fun Facts & Brain Teaser Riddles!
“At least failures’ not fatal so you can do it again!”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“need to invent a robot just to smack you!”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“Call 911! I think somebody stole all your common sense!”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“quiet! I’m trying to imagine you with intelligence.”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“Go to your victim’s refrigerator and add food coloring to the milk, cottage cheese, sour cream, etc.”
Full Sea Books, The One Minute Prank Book! 250 Quick and Easy Pranks & Practical Jokes
“An American urologist bought Napoleon’s penis for $40,000.”
Full Sea Books, The BIG Triple Joke Book - 1,289 Funny Jokes, Fun Facts & Brain Teaser Riddles!
“Almonds are members of the peach family.”
Full Sea Books, The BIG Triple Joke Book - 1,289 Funny Jokes, Fun Facts & Brain Teaser Riddles!
“If I had a dollar for every brain you don’t have, I’d have one dollar!” –  Squidward on SpongeBob SquarePants”
Full Sea Books, Hollywood’s Favorite Insults and More: The Greatest TV & Movie Insults!
“Let’s play hide and seek, You Hide!”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“When you and your victim are on an elevator, tap on their shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.”
Full Sea Books, The One Minute Prank Book! 250 Quick and Easy Pranks & Practical Jokes
“I’d mop the floor with your butt if I thought I could get in the corners!”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“Do ‘you’ ever get tired of having you around!?”
Full Sea Books, The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing!
“Let’s just assume that everything you have done up until now is wrong.” –  Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory”
Full Sea Books, Hollywood’s Favorite Insults and More: The Greatest TV & Movie Insults!

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The One Minute Prank Book! 250 Quick and Easy Pranks & Practical Jokes The One Minute Prank Book! 250 Quick and Easy Pranks & Practical Jokes
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The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument…While Laughing! The Top Insults
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The BIG Triple Joke Book - 1,289 Funny Jokes, Fun Facts & Brain Teaser Riddles! The BIG Triple Joke Book - 1,289 Funny Jokes, Fun Facts & Brain Teaser Riddles!
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Nasty Names that Hit Below the Belt - Complete with Definitions! Nasty Names that Hit Below the Belt - Complete with Definitions!
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