Laura Tong > Quotes

“I’ve had a problem saying ‘no’ in the past and now I’m cautious about taking on new things. I need to make sure I don’t get overwhelmed again".”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

“You see when you're a serial people-pleaser, juggling all those 'yeses' in the air, you're bound to drop one...and then another.  You’re so overstretched, so overwhelmed that eventually you let them down.  And because up to then you’ve proved so reliable, they’ve learned that they can ask you to do stuff that’s super important to them. So when you do eventually have to let them down, you let them down hard. And the trust they had in you dies right there.”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

“a reasonable request comes with nothing more than a ‘please’.”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

“back in my people-pleasing days, I noticed that there were those who seemed all but immune to guilt and the need to please. Indeed, many of the people I was constantly saying 'yes' to, were often saying 'no' to everyone else, me included.”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

“All I want you to realize in the grand scheme of life, is that we’re actually the good guys. You and I. And if you ever catch me buying a bag of lime, then you can call the cops. Until then let’s put Guilt on trial. For conning us into believing we have committed crimes we never have. For robbing us of our happiness and peace of mind. Let’s imprison Guilt – and set ourselves free.”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

“Today, I will carefully evaluate every request made of me before I reply.”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

“Look, your mind doesn’t need constant improving. It needs a balance – part improvement and part R and R – rest & relaxation. Essayist Tim Kreider wrote in The New York Times.  "Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets.”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

“My friends’ feelings have been bruised by the odd thing I’ve said or done even though I apologized until I was blue. It takes a while for the sting to stop stinging.”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

“Saying ‘no’ automatically redefines those boundaries. It says: 'I’ve taken on all I want to.'  'That’s not something I like to do.'  'I have something that’s important to me that needs to come first.'  Without needing to go into any details at all, you can give others an accurate and honest picture of the real you. You can let them know that you matter as a person. That you have a life to live, just as they do. And of course you stop being forever over-committed and regain balance.”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)

“Step 1. Be certain of what you’re saying no to. Step 2. Remember what you’ll gain by saying no. Step 3. Decide you are actually going to say ‘no’ now.”
― Laura Tong, The Life-Changing Power of NO!: How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone, Start Standing Up For Yourself, And Say No Without Guilt Or Conflict (Even To Difficult People)