Barbara Cofer Stoefen > Quotes

“no longer do I believe that every man and woman in America has an equal chance — we simply aren’t born with equal brains. Not all people can pull themselves up by their proverbial bootstraps, because, as my friend Christi says, “We haven’t all been issued the same boots.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Our only chance of getting our daughter back was to, paradoxically, let her go.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Addiction in the family will change you. You can allow the change to consume and damage you, or you can embrace the lessons that life now presents.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Letting people be who they are frees us all.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen

“Their lives are a miracle, not a fairy tale.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Those who might judge the disasters of others may not yet have had their own.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Annie is clean today because of what she’s done, and what God has done in her. We merely supported her recovery and stood by her while she saved herself.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“addicts are everywhere. They’re where we work, play, worship, and go to school. Addiction does not discriminate. It knows no color, no ethnicity, no religion, no gender or sexual orientation.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Teachers didn’t know what to make of this smart kid who couldn’t, or wouldn’t, keep track of her things or consistently complete her work.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Without a job or a decent place to live, the most fundamental of needs, only the most industrious and the most diligent seem able to make it.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Dr. McCauley told us it’s time to treat addiction as the public health catastrophe it’s become.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“I don’t have to change anyone. Letting people be who they are frees us all, and my only job is to become the person I wish others to be.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“For most, drug addiction ultimately becomes synonymous with criminality, and a criminal record follows them everywhere and forever.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“addiction is not a choice.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Annie and Tom have a relapse plan to protect themselves should one or the other ever pick up again.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“You can’t think your way into right action; you have to act your way into right thinking.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Most people do look at drug addicts in moral terms. “It’s your own fault,” they’ll say. “Drugs are bad, and you shouldn’t have done what you did.” If my own kid hadn’t become a drug addict, I might not get it either. Some close to me still don’t.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“We have to stop moralizing, blaming, controlling or smirking at the person with the disease of addiction, and start creating opportunities for individuals and families to get help . . .”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“I’d asked God to free Annie but didn’t know what that might look like. I thought it possible her freedom might come in heaven. That’s the way it happens for many, for God-only-knows reasons.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“Be careful not to give the neediest of your children more time than the others. No matter what the issues, all of your kids need you.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth

“I sometimes think the recovery community is a picture of what the church should look like. I’ve experienced the Spirit of God hovering in those recovery rooms as a palpable presence, bringing healing to those who struggle and who submit to their higher power. It’s my belief that Jesus, my Higher Power, hears those prayers, whether or not they know his name. His favorite people were, after all, the most broken among us — the outcasts, the misfits, the sick, and, yes, the addicts.”
― Barbara Cofer Stoefen, A Very Fine House: A Mother's Story of Love, Faith, and Crystal Meth