Matthew Landis > Quotes

“It’s like a giant mountain of information. Most people can see the famous peaks, but only from a distance. Climbing it is a lot different. When you’re on the mountain you learn all sorts of really interesting stuff that other people don’t know.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“people sometimes make history what they want it to be instead of what it actually was.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“I was in the Boy Scouts for half a year. Why I left isn’t important. Okay fine, there was an incident during a camping trip with a raccoon I’d rather not get into right now, but the point is that I’ve got really good spatial awareness.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“September of 1862 he enlisted with the 68th Pennsylvania Regiment in Philadelphia and died on July 5, 1863 at Gettysburg of dysentery. What’s that?” “It’s basically diarrhea,” Oliver said. How heroic. Killed by his own poop.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“You were playing cards when I went down,” Addie muttered. “It was a card trick—a really good one. And it’s way cooler than banging out some boring song in a way that would embarrass the guy who wrote it.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“Friends don’t gently brush grass off their friend’s face,” Kevin said. “And don’t even get me started on how she dresses prettier when she comes to drill. Not that I’m interested—I’ve got my eye on a very interesting sixth grader. Sort of a free spirit. Apparently she can talk to birds.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“My mom says I have the metabolism of a Peruvian weasel,” Kevin said. “I looked it up—doesn’t exist.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“Mary, Mother of all that is holy.” He’d heard his dad whisper that only once: when his little sister, Addie, had drawn stick figures all over their white couch with a Sharpie.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“He couldn’t really disagree with Mr. Carrow; the teacher was a master of history. Literally—he had a degree that said MASTER’S IN HISTORY.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“Should I call 911?” Joe asked. “No, he’s fine,” Sergeant Tom said. “Just fainted. And gave himself a bloody nose.” Frank patted his face and stared at the blood in confusion. “What happened?” “You got shot,” Joe said. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of your truck.”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody

“Ella put her hand up for a high five, but because Oliver didn’t give a lot of high fives he grabbed her hand instead and turned the whole thing into a really awkward midair handshake”
― Matthew Landis, The Not So Boring Letters of Private Nobody