Gary Janetti > Quotes

“Let’s see, what else? Don’t go into debt over clothes. Hug your dogs while you have them. Know that you can skip most anything. You will fall in love eventually. Remember that. Also, the things you like aren’t weird. Don’t worry about being normal. It’s an awful thing to aspire to.”
― Gary Janetti, Do You Mind If I Cancel?

“This is also very important. Never take the first table they offer you in a restaurant. Don’t even start walking with the host until you know where you’re going. “What table were you thinking of giving us?” always lets them know you mean business right off the bat. Never sit by the door, near a waiter station, or across from the bathroom. Always take the seat facing out to the room. If there is a booth available you definitely want that.”
― Gary Janetti, Do You Mind If I Cancel?

“You will derive much satisfaction in later life simply by shooting looks at people.”
― Gary Janetti, Do You Mind If I Cancel?

“Reading in public was my favorite pastime. Doing it at home didn’t have the same thrill. Nobody could see me reading a book in my apartment so what was the point. I preferred a crowd. You wouldn’t sing an aria to the couch, would you? I felt similarly about reading. Why waste it on no one? I was more caught up with how I looked reading the book than I was with the actual book.”
― Gary Janetti, Start Without Me

“He has the bland good looks of someone who is handsome at twenty, but will not be at thirty.”
― Gary Janetti, Do You Mind If I Cancel?: Things That Still Annoy Me

“And here's a fantastic thing that would happen: this person that you had maybe seen at the gym for months, or weeks, or just today. And now he's writing his phone number down on a ripped off piece of paper (the front desks always had pens and paper for just such moments), and you fold it up and put it in your gym shorts. And later you take it out and unfold it and it is like he is there again. The slip of paper with the number on it has now been replaced with grindr and scruff and instagram but nothing - nothing, can be as exciting as walking back to your apartment and climbing the stairs and unlocking the door and reaching into your pocket and pulling out that tiny slip of paper and looking at his handwriting. How he writes his 7's, 4's, his 8's. And a little bit of him is there with you, and it's thrilling because this paper is a contract that tells you something happened. A moment, a brief moment recognising that you have been seen and this paper could hold your future. This could be the piece of paper you keep for 50 years, the paper you will show him when you're old and the excitement of that moment is long gone but something better is left in its place; a lifetime. ”
― Gary Janetti, Do You Mind If I Cancel?: Things That Still Annoy Me

“Don’t worry about being normal. It’s an awful thing to aspire to.”
― Gary Janetti

“But the truth was, I didn't want to be the one waiting by the phone - which was its own special hell, that thank God no longer exists.”
― Gary Janetti, Do You Mind If I Cancel?: Things That Still Annoy Me

“Don't always wait for someone to come up and talk to you. Standing around bars like you're wearing a poodle skirt at a sock hop. Go up to people. Ask their name.”
― Gary Janetti

“The vibe I’m going for apparently both slut and scholar.”
― Gary Janetti, Start Without Me

“My hopes of making a new friend are quickly dashed when the guy in the bunk above me lets out a fart so huge it turns the page of my book.”
― Gary Janetti, Start Without Me

“I said I was going to let the trip be what it was going to be, and I did. I feel like I have to remind myself of this often. Let things be what they want to be, instead of trying to impose onto them what I think they should be.”
― Gary Janetti, We Are Experiencing a Slight Delay: Tips, Tales, Travels

“In the 70's a millionaire was impressive, now it's like being a teacher.”
― Gary Janetti, Do You Mind If I Cancel?: Things That Still Annoy Me

“But here I am, in my twenties, with no technology, having to make an appointment on the phone and I don’t know who I’m going to talk to because I can’t Google anyone and since I don’t even know what that is at the time I don’t miss it but knowing now what it is and thinking back on how different it was then I feel like I came of age in pioneer times and it’s not fair. So, no, I don’t care if everyone is looking at their fucking phone now. They should be. It tells you everything.”
― Gary Janetti, Do You Mind If I Cancel?

“The vibe I’m going for apparently both slut and scholar. I’m a good time, but not too much of a good time. The kind of girl you can take home to Mom. (If Mom is, you know, cool with everything.)”
― Gary Janetti, Start Without Me

“I wouldn’t be wasting my time being offended by every little thing or promoting positive body images or getting involved in politics. I’d be avoiding people. I’d be working from home. I’d be watching TV on my laptop. They don’t know the nightmare it was to actually have had to talk to people all the time. And we weren’t allowed to have social anxiety like you are now. Nobody even knew about”
― Gary Janetti, Do You Mind If I Cancel?

“I love Boston. It’s like a miniature New York, but with more annoying accents and shittier restaurants.”
― Gary Janetti, We Are Experiencing a Slight Delay: Tips, Tales, Travels

“Reading in public was my favorite pastime. Doing it at home didn’t have the same thrill. Nobody could see me reading a book in my apartment so what was the point. I preferred a crowd. You wouldn’t sing an aria to the couch, would you? I felt similarly about reading. Why waste it on no one? I was more caught up with how I looked reading the book than I was with the actual book. Always aware as I turned each page to put on a good show. Laugh just enough to indicate that I’m trying not to laugh in public. Look intently at each page, maybe adorably bite my lip in concentration at certain passages. Let a lock of hair occasionally fall into my eyes that I have to distractedly brush away. And make all of it seem completely natural. As if I’m so immersed in my book that I’m not at all aware of my surroundings. Even though I’ve clocked each person in the restaurant. Every gesture, every look, every tilt of the head is carefully considered for utmost effect. Meryl Streep put less thought into her performance as Karen Silkwood than I did as “person at counter with book.”
― Gary Janetti, Start Without Me