Nev Schulman > Quotes

“Social media has put an incredible pressure on the Facebook generation. We’ve made our lives so public to one another, and as a result we feel pressure to live up to a certain ideal version of ourselves. On social media, everyone is happy, and popular, and successful—or, at least, we think we need to look like we are. No matter how well off we are, how thin or pretty, we have our issues and insecurities. But none of that shows up online. We don’t like to reveal our weaknesses on social media. We don’t want to appear unhappy, or be a drag. Instead, we all post rose-colored versions of ourselves. We pretend we have more money than we do. We pretend we are popular. We pretend our lives are great. Your status update says I went to a totally awesome party last night! It won’t mention that you drank too much and puked and humiliated yourself in front of a girl you like. It says My sorority sisters are the best! It doesn’t say I feel lonely and don’t think they accept me. I’m not saying everyone should post about having a bad time. But pretending everything is perfect when it’s not doesn’t help anyone. The danger of these kinds of little white lies is that, in projecting the happiness and accomplishments we long for, we’re setting impossible standards for ourselves and others to live up to.”
― Nev Schulman, In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age

“This is a symptom of our culture’s obsession with appearance; our confusion about what beauty is and how we should feel about our bodies; and our compulsion to compare ourselves to the people we see on TV and on social media. Beauty is internal—related to energy and confidence—but we rarely remember this.”
― Nev Schulman, In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age

“I’ve known Max since high school. He and Rel met at a UCLA summer film workshop: Rel was walking down the hall, singing “The Confrontation” from Les Misérables—“Valjean, at last, we see each other plain”—when, directly behind him, he heard some guy singing the next line of the song—“Monsieur, le Mayor, you wear a different chain.” It was Max. The rest was history. Max became my friend by default; I spent my high school years tagging along after him and my brother.”
― Nev Schulman, In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age

“We are so desperate for external validation that we’ll even accept it from someone who may be lying to us.”
― Nev Schulman, In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age

“Beauty is internal—related to energy and confidence—but”
― Nev Schulman, In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age

“And personal meaning is at the foundation of self-respect, of confidence, and - ultimately - of love.”
― Nev Schulman, In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age

“Consider this an honest look at falling in love, loving yourself, and being loved in the social media age. It’s a guide that addresses how to improve your actual life instead of living through your digital self.”
― Nev Schulman, In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age