Alex Gabriel > Quotes

“All things come to those who lurk. Skulking is also an option.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“But don’t go overboard, Pat. You know what matters in the end.” Pat laughed. “Family, the loyalty of your minions, and a reliable logistics support system?”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“Turned out Pat had tragically low standards. Sad, but hardly a surprise.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“Tomorrow I'm going to mow the lawn and prune the trees, and after that I'll cook some stew and casseroles to put in the freezer. We'll be glad of them when we're busy gaining dominion over the world, and can't find time to cook.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“You always want to know the truth, isn’t that what you said? Even if it hurts. Even if it’s messy and complicated and inconvenient, and means you have to change your mind.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“Choose your battles wisely. Cheat whenever necessary.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“It will be an incredible victory when Serpentissima turns from ev— from… her ways. But don’t make the mistake of believing yourself to be a pawn or a prize, Patrick. You’re not the means. You’re not the end, either. You are the reason.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“The West Sister Dating Rules were clear on the matter of apologies. On the evolutionary scale of dating, a guy who apologized solely for the sake of ending the argument and getting back into your good graces was on the level of primeval slime — especially if he was clearly doing so merely because he was hoping for sex. The proper response was to unveil the offender’s deceit by demanding he explain what exactly he was apologizing for, and then scorn him when he betrayed his ignorance.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“I’m supposed to be using my wiles on you right this second. You know, my wiles that are going to seduce you into changing sides. I don’t even have any wiles, what the fuck.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“Alright, kids, who wants to try a home-made veggie sausage spiced with the secret herbs of the jungle's dark and vengeful heart? I can through some on the grill with the next round of tofu burgers.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“Patrick West.” Nick spoke so quietly the words were hardly more than a soft exhalation. “Student. Swimmer. Fan of lurid supernatural romances, €linore, and BadMadRad. Casual gamer. Admirer of Jaguar, fictional warrior princesses, and soprano witch queens. Lover of historical buildings. Idealist who wants to build cities where people can live well. Owner of strong opinions he never hesitates to defend, no matter how obviously wrong. Quick to laugh. Spontaneous and unselfconscious, except when he thinks too much, or tries too hard. Talks too much, with hardly any filter between the brain and the mouth. Adaptable. Outgoing. Unreserved. Loud. Talented. Whole-hearted. Foolhardy. Stronger than he thinks. Wiser than he seems.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“What are you up to, kiddo? Come on, spill. Is it illegal?” Why did everyone always ask him that?”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“At least jerking off did not suck. In fact, it was pretty great, because Pat was good at it. Practice made perfect, as they said.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero

“He looks like a dead-drunk ballerina who’s dislocated something important, possibly her brain.”
― Alex Gabriel, Learning How to Lose, in Six Easy Steps: Step Three: Innocence / Step Four: Perspective

“Suzu wheezes. “Did you really just burst in here with a fanfare befitting Roku himself? What happened? I can’t believe your sudden brilliance! Do it again, do it again!”
― Alex Gabriel, Learning How to Lose, in Six Easy Steps. Step One: Tetris / Step Two: Fun and Games

“I saved you,” Andersen said at last, slowly but firmly, like Pat was an idiot child who had to be reminded of the basic rules of the universe. To wit: Gravity exists. Time purports to flow in a linear fashion, but it’s only trying to fool us. I saved you.”
― Alex Gabriel, Love for the Cold-Blooded, or The Part-Time Evil Minion's Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero