Christopher Zenos > Quotes

“The vicious demand for happiness, regardless of circumstance, is not what one expects from one's own. Life is hard enough. Requiring a loved one to always be happy-happy-joy in the face of that strain, that cruelty, is not love. It is unforgivable narcissism." She smiled sourly. "The greastest gift you could give someone is space to be sad. Or tired. The failure to understand that simple fact may be why your generation doesn't seem able to form lasting bonds. You all seem to be in it for what the other person can give you, here and now—resources, time, transient euphoria. Not for what you can be together. Over the decades."
–Christopher Zenos
Autumn in Carthage”
― Christopher Zenos, Autumn in Carthage

“The vicious demand for happiness, regardless of circumstance, is not what one expects from one’s own. Life is hard enough. Requiring a loved one to always be happy-happy-joy in the face of that strain, that cruelty, is not love. It is unforgivable narcissism.” She smiled sourly. “The greatest gift you could give someone is space to be sad. Or tired. The failure to understand that simple fact may be why your generation doesn’t seem able to form lasting bonds. You all seem to be in it for what the other person can give you, here and now—resources, time, transient euphoria. Not for what you can be together. Over the decades.”
― Christopher Zenos, Autumn in Carthage

“Love is never enough,” I finished. “And sometimes it’s the problem.” I’d grown tired of paying homage to the cult of parenthood, having seen too many emotionally immature people have children for their own deep-seated needs. Sucking up the affection and trust as validation for their unfulfilled lives. That’s what “love” meant, in far too many instances. And I’d seen it act like a slow poison, killing otherwise promising futures.”
― Christopher Zenos, Autumn in Carthage

“Will you love the persons they grow up to be, though?” I forged on, not having all that much to lose at this point. “Seems to me that’s the true test of parenthood. And so much of that depends on how you raise them, whether they can deal with the world without souring. Otherwise they just join the vast and expanding tribe of happy children who grow up to be unhappy adults.”
― Christopher Zenos, Autumn in Carthage