Maia Chance > Quotes

“I don't mind being stared at, but not in that pitchforks-and-torches way.”
― Maia Chance, Bad Housekeeping

“This is the problem with going back home and hanging out with your family. Everything seizes up in a time warp where we're all the most unflattering versions of ourselves.”
― Maia Chance, Bad Housekeeping

“But Alfie had been a horror of a husband. I’d survived my marriage with an unholy combination of highballs, detective novels, and chocolate layer cake.”
― Maia Chance, Come Hell or Highball

“As the famed novelist George B Jones, Jr. wrote, ‘Coincidences are for suckers.’”
“So poetic.”
― Maia Chance, Naughty on Ice

“I dressed in another high school special from my closet: a long, shapeless floral dress with about twenty buttons down the front. Maybe that doesn't sound too bad, but let me assure you, it looked like the polar opposite of terrific once I'd tied my orange sneakers on. I looked like the least favorite wife of a cult leader.”
― Maia Chance, Bad Housekeeping

“I winched myself up the banister behind him. Flight after flight we went. It was the Mount Everest of staircases, but I was no Sherpa. And the steel boning of my girdle was digging into my cupcakes. Maybe I should’ve worn Eloise Wright’s rubber girdle, after all.”
― Maia Chance, Come Hell or Highball

“There really are no better pain killers than cake and booze.”
― Maia Chance, Naughty on Ice

“He was going to give us the little lady treatment," Effie said.
"What?"
"You know, like John Wayne. Treating us like lobotomy patients because we haven't got boy parts.”
― Maia Chance, Bad Housekeeping

“does.”
― Maia Chance, Come Hell or Highball