J.J. Bola > Quotes

“You ever wish that you could die...but without all of the dying? he says. Like, not die, but just cease to exist, disappear, be invisible, every trace of your life, even the memories of you in other people's hearts and minds, all gone.”
― J.J. Bola, The Selfless Act of Breathing

“Patriarchy can seem ubiquitous. It can feel all consuming, all encompassing; controlling every part of your life, from the way you see yourself to the way you see others, from your relationships and friendships, to familial ties, from identity to opportunities and experiences. Yet at the same time, it can also seem invisible.”
― JJ Bola, Mask Off: Masculinity Redefined

“Often the weight of patriarchy is heavy, but when you've been carrying the weight for so long, you forget what it feels like to be without that weight. You start then think that carrying that weight is normal, rather than thinking of what you could do to put that weight down - or how much freer you could be without it”
― J.J. Bola, Mask Off: Masculinity Redefined

“Sometimes it is easier to forget than to heal.”
― J.J. Bola, The Selfless Act of Breathing

“refuge imagine how it feels to be chased out of home.
to have your grip ripped. loosened from your
fingertips, something you so dearly held on to.
like a lover’s hand that slips when pulled away
you are always reaching. my father would speak of home. reaching.
speaking of familiar faces. girl next door
who would eventually grow up to be my mother.
the fruit seller at the market. the lonely man
at the top of the road who nobody spoke to.
and our house at the bottom of the street
lit up by a single flickering lamp
where beyond was only darkness. there
they would sit and tell stories
of monsters that lurked and came only at night
to catch the children who sat and listened to
stories of monsters that lurked.
this is how they lived. each memory buried.
an artefact left to be discovered by archaeologists.
the last words on a dying family member’s lips. this
was sacred. not even monsters could taint it.
but there were monsters that came during the day.
monsters that tore families apart with their giant hands.
and fingers that slept on triggers. the sound of gunshots
ripping through the sky became familiar like the tapping
of rain fall on a window sill. monsters that would kill
and hide behind speeches, suits and ties. monsters
that would chase families away forcing them to leave
everything behind. i remember
when we first stepped off the plane.
everything was foreign. unfamiliar. uninviting.
even the air in my lungs left me short of breath. we came here to find refuge. they called us refugees
so, we hid ourselves in their language
until we sounded just like them.
changed the way we dressed to look just like them.
made this our home until we lived just like them
and began to speak of familiar faces. girl next door
who would grow up to be a mother. the fruit seller
at the market. the lonely man at the top of the road
who nobody spoke to. and our house
at the bottom of the street lit up by a flickering lamp
to keep away the darkness. there
we would sit and watch police that lurked
and came only at night to arrest the youths who sat
and watched police that lurked and came only at night.
this is how we lived. i remember one day i heard them say to me
they come here to take our jobs
they need to go back to where they came from
not knowing that i was one of the ones who came.
i told them that a refugee is simply
someone who is trying to make a home.
so next time when you go home
tuck your children in and kiss your families
goodnight, be glad that the monsters
never came for you.
in their suits and ties.
never came for you.
in the newspapers with the media lies.
never came for you.
that you are not despised. and know that deep inside
the hearts of each and every one of us
we are all always reaching
for a place that we can call home.”
― J.J. Bola, REFUGE: The Collected Poetry of JJ Bola

“Oh, how would we treat the people in our lives if we knew which conversation would be the last? would we act differently? Appreciate every moment? Tell them we love them?”
― J.J. Bola, The Selfless Act of Breathing

“It is in these moments that we are compelled to question the meaning of life, and whether life has any meaning at all; moments when tragedy hits us so unexpectedly, and so sudden. But it is also in these moments that we come together ... and find meaning in each other, supporting each other through it all.”
― J.J. Bola, The Selfless Act of Breathing

“Some days, I am just tired. Some days, I'm barely strong enough to carry the burden of my heavy heart, let alone the weight of the world on my shoulders, some days I need space on my own, no internet, no mobile phone, and some days, I just want to run away from it all. But then on some days, I hear a voice call in the back of my mind, each syllable sounds like a little droplet of light and it says to me, 'Why would you want to run when you have wings for feet? Fly.' So, this is to all those with wings for feet who keep on running, please do not run. Fly.”
― J.J. Bola, The Selfless Act of Breathing