Beth McColl > Quotes

“today’s forecast is rain
of course
but you won’t open the curtains
to check
there are six mugs
half drunk
by your bed and
a broken vein
from your heart to your hip.
‘you are a part of the universe’
your mother says
with another cup in her hands-
‘isn’t that worth getting out of bed for?’
the rain begins then and hell
the forecast
could be an alien invasion
and you still wouldn’t peel
the blinds back to see.”
― Beth McColl

“Treat yourself well. Care for yourself. Show yourself slow and deliberate gentle attention. Demonstrate that you're worth this kind of attention, because you are.”
― Beth McColl, How to Come Alive Again: A guide to killing your monsters

“To live a better life, you really just have to get stuck into the failure, and the mess, and the confusion, and the hell of what's happening right now. You have to get more familiar with failure. You have to take failure to a show. You have to buy it a steak and kiss it on the mouth. That's how you heal. That's how you make better decisions in the future. So you have to apply for a boat load of jobs. And you have to get turned down for a boat load of jobs. You have to relapse in your recovery and you have to fall all the way back down again. We all do it and we all suffer and hate ourselves and declare ourselves fuck ups, and losers, and space wasters, and nonsense cobblers, and mistake squids, and we lie down on the floor and give up for awhile. And then sometime later, when the shame and the sadness have worn off a bit and we start to feel a bit peckish, we get up, dust off, and we go get 40 chicken nuggets and start the process all over again. And this time we know more. We know where the traps are and we know more of what we're up against. And we're tougher this time around.”
― Beth McColl, How to Come Alive Again: A guide to killing your monsters

“Nobody has ever felt pain but you,
agony is yours, make a necklace from it.
Chew it. Never spit it out.

You are the only one your age not
having fun. You are puzzled by life
because you were born one Sunday

too early. You will die on the wrong day too.
Try to drown more than once, preferably
in the same place. Fall in love.

Cut your tongue on him so many times
your language starts to bleed out
at the root. Reserve speech

only for begging. You are supposed to
want to dress like the girl at school
who pulled your hair. Hating yourself

is the diet for success. Let it bloat you.
Be the river that is always threatening
to burst. You are not special.

There is no pearl under your tongue. Your heart
has you by the throat. However hard
you try you will never fall back in love

with your life.”
― Beth McColl

“I know now that my happiness has nothing to do with being quiet and pliant and agreeable. My happiness is an unapologetic animal. A growing, shifting, changing thing. A thing that wants my life to glow.”
― Beth McColl, How to Come Alive Again: A guide to killing your monsters