Steve Lookner > Quotes

“Woo-hoo!” I said. “That’s amazing!” But I noticed that my dad wasn’t nearly as excited as I was. “Hey Dad, isn’t this good news?” I said. “Ask him when the next council meeting is,” said Pooseidon. “When’s the next meeting?” I asked Zeus. “Um, in 10,000 years,”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“Fortunately for you, swimmers have been farting in this river for years, so the water contains the healing powers of your father, Pooseidon.”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“MATH”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“Why can’t I be a Jogger? he thought. He didn’t know where the urge came from, but it was stronger than ever...just as strong as his urge to hang out with the girl who’d arrived yesterday. But he knew where that urge came from: his wiener.”
― Steve Lookner, The Maze Bummer: A Parody of The Maze Runner

“The dolphin statue farted and blew her into the fountain? Sounded unlikely,”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“You see, I was closed-minded. I assumed that farts were something to be ashamed of. But your actions have shown me that farts are something to be proud of, and are worth even more than their weight in gold. Which is why at the next Council of Olympus, I will propose that Pooseidon be made known to humans as the thirteenth god.”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“I woke up on the porch of a large house overlooking a meadow. Unfortunately, instead”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“Come on,” he said, “I gotta introduce you to the camp director.” Director? Sounded like someone important. I hoped I could keep from throwing up on him.”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“solstice”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“wanted”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“I peeled off one of the pieces of toilet paper from the roll Stinkera gave me, and wiped myself with it. The empty guacamole dish behind the counter magically filled up with tasty guacamole. “Seems like that might not have been the best use of the magic toilet paper,” said Annabeth.”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“Saturday”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“were”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief

“ACCIDENTALLY”
― Steve Lookner, The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief