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“I was lost... lost in a practical world... an ornament with a heart.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“Panicsville again.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“I had a body when I was a young kid that raised temperatures wherever I went. Today I have three long knife wounds on my solid frame”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“To hell with it all—destroy, kill, be violent and wipe out everything—all these foolish people who live and die to no purpose.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“But I have always, all my life attracted the unusual. Nothing ever could go smoothly for me.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“But the career virus is virulent. Like TB you can arrest it but you never can cure it. And worse, it becomes more active each time it infects.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“If you make a man less a man it’s the worst
thing you can do to him. And that’s what I did.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“Hustling is a creeping thing, a disease that comes from nowhere and you don’t know you have it until you study it carefully.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“I’ve been living.
Don’t judge me too harshly for living.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“I know you won’t or can’t understand this but believe me if I didn’t give in to my little whims, I’d die. That’s the kind of cat I am.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed
“But when you’re an actress you’re an actress. It’s a disease. You just rebel against doing anything else.”
Barbara Payton, I Am Not Ashamed

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I Am Not Ashamed I Am Not Ashamed
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Lighter Than Air Lighter Than Air
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Hollywood, les hommes et moi Hollywood, les hommes et moi
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