Chad Kultgen > Quotes

“people don't change, they just have momentary steps outside of their true character”
― Chad Kultgen, The Lie

“Try to remember the moment when all the stupid innocent things you thought about life and love, all the things you thought mattered, all the things you though were true. . .try to remember when they all turned out to be lies. —Kyle”
― Chad Kultgen, The Lie

“We drive down the road in complete silence for a few miles listening to 50 Cent. As soon as he tells us that he's into having sex, he ain't into making love, Casey turns the volume down and begins telling me the following information: " I love you so much. We're going to have the best life together. I can't wait." Every word she says makes me feel a little more like faking a stroke and pretending to lose all memory of who I was, but it's not until she looks me in the eye and says in all seriousness, "You're my soul mate," that I realize I am not going to marry her.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Average American Male

“People don't change, they just have momentary steps outside of their true character, isolated actions contrary to their true nature.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Lie

“There is no love, there is only the lie we tell ourselves that things are more important than they actually are, that our lives will have meaning beyond all the other lives that have come before us and been forgotten, that there is hope in any of this.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Lie

“One night, Tim stumbled across a documentary called Manufacturing Consent. After viewing it, he found some writing online by its subject, Noam Chomsky, and as a result began to feel that there wasn't really a point to anything, that free will was an illusion, and that the things most people invested time and energy in were systems of control designed by those who sought to manipulate the general populace”
― Chad Kultgen, Men, Women, and Children

“Every word she says makes me feel a little more like faking a stroke and pretending to lose all memory of who I was.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Average American Male

“So what's your major? Have you figured it out yet?"
Yeah, biology. I'm hoping to go to med school. How about you?"
Elementary education."
She could have told me she was majoring in shit-eating with a minor in injecting guys with AIDS blood while they slept, and I would have thought it was the greatest, most noble thing in the world.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Lie

“When she left I realized my roommate, Dave, was awake the whole time and was witness to my entire interaction with Heather. He said something like, 'Good try, man. Just remember, if Christ wants something to happen it will, but it will happen in his time.' which was my first real taste of the born-again-flavored shit pie he was going to force-feed down my throat every day of our freshman year.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Lie

“At that point I was just a little too conscious to hold on to it and I woke up with that awful empty feeling you get when you realize the person who can make you happier than anything is a fucking dream.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Average American Male

“On the drive home I continue to try and jar the fetus loose with more abrupt driving maneuvers.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Average American Male

“But I think you’re failing to understand exactly what a dissertation is supposed to be. It’s not meant to change the world or revolutionize the way we think about anything. It’s meant to be a document that I can read and the rest of the committee can read to show us that you have enough understanding to warrant a PhD. That’s all. Once you have the PhD, once you leave here, or stay here and become a professor, that’s when your real work will start.”
― Chad Kultgen, Strange Animals

“If the actions of Hitler, Gandhi, Jesus Christ, anyone who had ever existed or would ever exist, were all meaningless, then surely sitting down next to Brandy Beltmeyer was equally meaningless.”
― Chad Kultgen, Men, Women, and Children

“Cerca di ricordare il momento in cui tutte le stupide innocenti cose che hai pensato della vita e dell'amore, tutte le cose che pensavi importassero, tutte le cose che pensavi fossero vere... cerca di ricordare quando si sono trasformate in bugie. -Kyle”
― Chad Kultgen, The Lie

“It was shaping up to be one of a handful of days in my life that filled me with the kind of anticipation and excitement that makes your anus tingle ever so slightly.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Lie

“Le persone non cambiano, fanno solo momentanei passi fuori dal loro vero carattere, isolate azioni contrarie alla loro vera natura.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Lie

“It’s always that simple. I fucked up. I’m sorry. That’s all she wants to hear—that you’re sorry for fucking up, and that you’ve learned something from it, and that because of whatever you learned you’re not even capable of doing it again. Everyone makes mistakes. She just wants to know that you know it was a mistake. Unless you kill somebody, it’s pretty rare that the mistake is bad enough to fuck something up forever.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Average American Bundle: The Average American Male, The Average American Marriage, and The Lie

“Realizing your potential is gone—that’s pretty bad. But the worst thing is being okay with that.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Average American Marriage

“She's been fucking someone else. She's still fucking Duane. She's getting back together with Duane and they're getting married. Duane's in the closet with a video camera and a gun.”
― Chad Kultgen, The Average American Male

“She’d never been able to understand why any woman would adhere to the constraints of Christianity, or any major religion for that matter. Most of them described an ethos of subjugation for women in their primary texts.”
― Chad Kultgen, Strange Animals

“Don Truby thought about Kelly Ripa’s anus.”
― Chad Kultgen, Men, Women, and Children

“Relationships between men and women are only about sex. The rest of the sh*t is incidental.”
― Chad Kultgen

“People don’t change their minds that easily. They have too much pride. Eventually they have kids who see the world differently, and that’s how real change happens. Old people die and the things they mistakenly thought were important die with them.”
― Chad Kultgen, Strange Animals