J.K. Really > Quotes

“Very well. We now come to the point. Your mother insists upon your accepting it. Is it not so, Mrs. Bennet?" Mrs. Bennet clenched both her fists. "Yes, or I will never see her again!" she sobbed. "An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth." Mr. Bennet tsk-tsked. "From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do." Lizzy shared a warm smile with her dad. She double-tapped her chest, he double-tapped his, and they did their super secret Favorite Daughter-Daddy handshake. Mrs. Bennet, at the sight of it, broke into sobs anew, and Mr. Collins quietly disappeared down the road, muttering that he would be spending the remainder of his visit at Lucas Lodge, if anybody gave a shit. Which emphatically they did not.”
― J.K. Really, Pride and Motherf*cking Prejudice

“Dude, I was trying to be nice but I guess its time to put down Christian and pick up clarity." Lizzy snapped. "Here it is: I'd rather die penniless in a ditch surrounded by my cat family than marry you. I feel absolutely zero attraction to you on a physical, spiritual, or sexual level. Now, if you'd taken me seriously the first time I said no I wouldn't have to take it to this place-”
― J.K. Really, Pride and Motherf*cking Prejudice

“Way worse, it turned out. Not that Lizzy didn't enjoy being closed into a carriage the size of an outhouse with Charlotte's dad Sir William and Charlotte's chatty sister Maria from Longbourn to Kent, but once they actually got to Hunsford Lizzy realized she had failed to anticipate the depth and strength of the awkwardness that hung in the air of Charlotte and Mr. Collins' love nest like a silent but deadly fart.”
― J.K. Really, Pride and Motherf*cking Prejudice

“treated my fingertips to an Australian taco party until the sun came up.”
― J.K. Really, Jane F--king Eyre