Terry Ravenscroft > Quotes

“I seek the one who picks his nose,” said”
― Terry Ravenscroft, Dear Coca-Cola

“Compared to the bladder examination the prostate examination was like the caress of a lover.
From Stairlift to Heaven”
― Terry Ravenscroft

“However, forget that, how do you stand on the Amputee Position? Don’t tell me - on one leg, somewhat precariously.”
― Terry Ravenscroft, Stairlift to Heaven 4 - Still Hanging On

“Compared to the bladder examination the prostate examination was like the caress of a lover."
From Stairlift to Heaven”
― Terry Ravenscroft

“but to defend Big Macs because they are a source of energy is like defending Saddam Hussein because he found lots of work for torturers.”
― Terry Ravenscroft, Stairlift to Heaven

“When the news first broke about this sorry excuse for a human being and his sexual involvement with girls under sixteen - no surprise to me, nor anyone else who spent much time at the BBC Television Centre in the 70s and 80s - my first thought was that the BBC had only to repeat all the shows in which under-age girls appeared with him on Jim’ll Fix It and re-title them Jim’ll Fuck It and they would have a hit of Strictly Come Dancing proportions on their hands.”
― Terry Ravenscroft, Stairlift to Heaven 2: Further Up The Stairlift

“If Coca-Cola can clean up and old coin like that, just think what a wonderful job it will do of keeping my intestines clear,’ and my family and I have been drinking it ever since.”
― Terry Ravenscroft, Dear Coca-Cola

“Yes?” he said, showing about as much interest as a dead poodle would in Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time.”
― Terry Ravenscroft, Stairlift to Heaven 4 - Still Hanging On

“didn’t ask who Titless Mary was, possibly a saint, the man being Irish.)”
― Terry Ravenscroft, Stairlift to Heaven 4 - Still Hanging On

“The political parties represented in my constituency are the Monster Raving Loony Party, the Conservative Monster Raving Loony Party, the Labour Monster Raving Loony Party, the Liberal Democrat Monster Raving Loony Party, the Green Monster Raving Loony Party, and the UKIP Monster Raving Especially Loony Party.”
― Terry Ravenscroft, Stairlift to Heaven 4 - Still Hanging On

“same”
― Terry Ravenscroft, Stairlift to Heaven