Jennette Fulda > Quotes

“If I hired one of the stock boys to chase me around the store with a licorice whip, I'd be thin by Christmas.”
― Jennette Fulda

“Being fat was traumatic, but the food was amazing.”
― Jennette Fulda, Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir

“When people asked you how you were doing, they didn’t really want to know how you were doing. They were saying, “I am a human and you are a human and we are passing in the hallway, so I’ll acknowledge your existence and inquire about your mood to avoid awkwardly staring at the walls, but I don’t care how you actually feel.”
― Jennette Fulda, Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away

“I never planned what I was going to eat until I was hungry, which was like waiting until I was drunk to start driving.”
― Jennette Fulda, Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir

“The truth is, I was a big, fat cliché. I ate too much and most of my exercise involved walking from the couch to the refrigerator between commercial breaks. I stole the last piece of pie. I went back for a third slice of cake. I ate all the Girl Scout cookies and I probably would have eaten the Girl Scout too if she had been covered in chocolate, caramel, and coconut flakes.”
― Jennette Fulda, Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir

“bread, that the house may never know hunger; salt, that life may always have flavor; and wine, that joy and prosperity may reign forever.”
― Jennette Fulda, Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir

“Some authors said carbs were bad; others said they were good. For several years everyone thought fat would make you fat, but then they decided maybe that wasn’t true.4 Diets were like religions. There were hundreds of them and everyone thought his or hers was the right one. Ultimately it was just a matter of faith. I wanted something solid. I wasn’t interested in dieting.”
― Jennette Fulda, Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir

“Yellow noodles of fat spilled out of Ms. Ribbit’s gut. It wasn’t what I was expecting. The textbook featured a precisely drawn diagram of internal organs, clearly defined and colored in neatly between the lines. There wasn’t supposed to be any fat. Ms. Ribbit either needed liposuction or someone had stuffed her with Ramen noodles before a shipping error diverted her from the nearest French restaurant to Mrs. Anderson’s biology class.”
― Jennette Fulda, Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir

“Drinking and smoking are things that you do. Fat is something you are.”
― Jennette Fulda, Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir