Mohammed Hanif > Quotes

“Men constantly feel hungry and women constantly feel sad. That's what marriage does to them. ~Teddy Butt, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“The generals who had called Zia a mullah behind his back felt ashamed at having underestimated him: not only was he a mullah, he was a mullah whose understanding of religion didn't go beyond parroting what he had heard from the next mullah. A mullah without a beard, a mullah in a four-star general's uniform, a mullah with the instincts of a corrupt tax inspector.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“life is a series of sweet coincidences”
― mohammed hanif

“You want freedom and they give you chicken korma.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“She tries to maintain a nondescript exterior; she learns the sideways glance instead of looking at people directly. She speaks in practised, precise sentences so that she is not misunderstood. She chooses her words carefully, and if someone addresses her in Punjabi, she answers in Urdu, because an exchange in her mother tongue might be considered a promise of intimacy. She uses English for medical terms only, because she feels if she uses a word of English in her conversation she might be considered a bit forward. When she walks she walks with slightly hurried steps, as if she has an important but innocent appointment to keep. She avoids eye contact, she looks slightly over people’s heads as if looking out for somebody who might come into view at any moment. She doesn’t want anyone to think that she is alone and nobody is coming for her. She sidesteps even when she sees a boy half her age walking towards her, she walks around little puddles when she can easily leap over them; she thinks any act that involves stretching her legs might send the wrong signal. After all, this is not the kind of thing where you can leave your actions to subjective interpretations. She never eats in public. Putting something in your mouth is surely an invitation for someone to shove something horrible down your throat. If you show your hunger, you are obviously asking for something.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“Any man who reaches for a book when he thinks about you is a man that you should think about.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“She wants a surprise so big and so heavy it could flatten her in the middle of the road. She want a tied-to-a-rocket-and-launched-into-space kind of surprise.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“basic military rule: you manage your anger by kicking ass, not by rearranging the furniture in your room.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“He won’t stop the war until you give him the peace prize.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“Alice Bhatti walks the walk of someone who thinks they can overcome their fear by taking measured steps.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“Don't be frightened of your own reflection. We all have bad moments in front of the mirror," says Noor. "You should probably get married. I have heard that a good husband is the only cure for bad dreams. You know why? Because then you are sleeping with you nightmare.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“He is an innocent in the way that lonesome canaries are innocent, flitting from one branch to another, the tender flutter of their wings and a few millilitres of blood keeping them airborne against the gravity of this world that wants to pull everyone down to its rotting surface.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“What’s with books and soldiers? I wonder. The whole bloody army is turning into pansy intellectuals.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“let’s have a mango party on Pak One. Let’s bring back the good old days.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“Now she has lived long enough to know that cutting up women is a sport older than cricket but just as popular and equally full of obscure rituals and intricate rules that everyone seems to know except her.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“Now we must put our heads together and suck national security.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“Men don't understand. Just remember that. They don't. I mean, they might have a fine understanding of how a carburetor works or how a human brain is wired, but ask them to understand your sadnesson a sunny afternoon and their brain starts doing push-ups.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“If something has to be done, one might as well do it when one has a lot of free time.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“So what is it really like? What happens when people die?" Noor asks Alice Bhatti, who after finishing her shift has changed into a loose maxi and is lying down on a wheelie stretcher, her forearm covering her eyes. A half-torn poster on the wall behind the stretcher says : Bhai, your blood will bring a revolution. Someone has scrawled under it with a marker: And that revolution will bring more blood. Someone has added Insha'allah in an attempt to introduce divine intervention into the proceedings. Some more down-to-earth soul has tried to give this revolution a direction, and drawn an arrow underneath and scribbled, Bhai, the Blood Bank is in Block C.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“Get some sleep, Secretary General, get some sleep. Revolution can wait till the morning.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“He lives in a world where where people want their share of pain measured, labelled, packaged,with its ingredients identified in plain language. They want it to come with an expiry date and a guarantee that there is this and no more”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“A professional who didn’t miss his target even in his death. If your boss had half your sense of humour, this Pakiland of yours would be a much livelier place.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“There are questions about my spiritual health – mildly spiritual; any suicidal thoughts – never; my sexual life – occasional wet dream. Belief in God? I wish they had an option saying ‘I wish’. I tick the square that says ‘firm believer’.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A case of Exploding Mangoes

“First love, is like your first heart attack. Chances are that you'll survive it, but you don't outlive it. That first gasp for air is the beginning of the end. You have managed to breath some air in, and you think you are all right. You might think it's a matter of lifestyle, quit this, cut our red meat, walk, run, get a personal trainer, try shitting standing up, but... it'll get get you in the end.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“Life has taught Alice Bhatti that every little step forward in life is preceded by a ritual humiliation. Every little happiness asks for a down payment. Too many humiliations and a journey that goes in circles means that her face is permanently in the red. She accepts that role. 'I'll do my best'.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“It's futile to predict what love will make of you, but sometimes it brings you things you never knew you wanted.”
― Mohammed Hanif, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti

“The gate, probably built to accommodate an elephant procession, opens slowly and reveals an abandoned city dreamed up by a doomed king.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“What are people if not the sum total of their memories?”
― Mohammed Hanif, Red Birds

“Two things that weren’t even on the agenda survived every upheaval that followed. General Akhtar remained a general until the time he died, and all God’s names were slowly deleted from the national memory as if a wind had swept the land and blown them away. Innocuous, intimate names: Persian Khuda which had always been handy for ghazal poets as it rhymed with most of the operative verbs; Rab, which poor people invoked in their hour of distress; Maula, which Sufis shouted in their hashish sessions. Allah had given Himself ninety-nine names. His people had improvised many more. But all these names slowly started to disappear: from official stationery, from Friday sermons, from newspaper editorials, from mothers’ prayers, from greeting cards, from official memos, from the lips of television quiz-show hosts, from children’s storybooks, from lovers’ songs, from court orders, from telephone operators’ greetings, from habeas corpus applications, from inter-school debating competitions, from road inauguration speeches, from memorial services, from cricket players’ curses; even from beggars’ begging pleas.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A Case of Exploding Mangoes

“Uncle Starchy had the slow grace of a lifelong drug addict. He moved with such agility and sense of purpose that I joined in the search without knowing what we were looking for.”
― Mohammed Hanif, A case of Exploding Mangoes