Stuart Diamond > Quotes

“Think about meeting your goals, not about wining over someone else”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work & Life

“If you make friends with the other party, they will look for ways to help you meet your goals.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work & Life

“Never make yourself the issue. Just because the other side is a jerk doesn't mean you should be a jerk.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work & Life

“The next time a police officer stops you for a traffic infraction, apologize and thank the officer for doing his or her job. You are valuing their judgment in stopping you. You are valuing the time they have spent building a career. And when you value other people, they give you stuff.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“First, here it is: THE GETTING MORE MODEL (aka the Four Quadrant Negotiation Model) Quadrant I—Problems & Goals 1. Goals: short/long term. 2. Problem(s): in reaching your goals. 3. Parties: List. Decision-maker. Counterpart. Third parties. 4. What if no deal? Worst case? 5. Preparation: Time, relative preparation. Who has more information?”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“When the other party realizes you care about their feelings, they will listen more, making them more persuadable.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“As in all negotiations, using third parties can help. But this cannot be perceived as manipulative in any way, or you risk hurting the relationship.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“Talking is a sign of strength. Not talking is a sign of weakness.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“Studies done with both children and adults over the past fifty years show that blaming people reduces performance and motivation.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“Someone who is different is someone with whom you will often disagree. Too many groups I have seen pick someone whose physical attributes might be different, and then pride themselves at having “diversity.” But unless their perceptions are different, then they are really the same,”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“How good is email as a communication device? “Terrible,” most people say. One reason is that email has no tone. It’s sort of like tofu—it takes on the flavor of what the recipient is feeling at the moment.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“I’m not trying to hit home runs in negotiations. I’m trying to get one extra hit every nine games. It’s a good lesson for negotiation, and a good lesson for life. A few incremental improvements and you will be fabulously more successful.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“Common enemies bring parties closer together and make the negotiation easier. That’s why people complain about the weather;”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“Here are the basic components of effective communication: (1) always communicate, (2) listen and ask questions, (3) value, don’t blame them, (4) summarize often, (5) do role reversal, (6) be dispassionate, (7) articulate goals, (8) be firm without damaging the relationship, (9) look for small signals, (10) discuss perceptual differences, (11) find out how they make commitments, (12) consult before deciding, (13) focus on what you can control, and (14) avoid debating who is right.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“And it used six separate negotiation tools that I teach that are, in practice, invisible to almost everyone. What are they? First, be dispassionate; emotion destroys negotiations. You must force yourself to be calm. Second, prepare, even for five seconds. Collect your thoughts. Third, find the decision-maker. Here, it was the pilot. There was not a second to waste on the gate agent, who was not about to change company policy. Fourth, focus on your goals, not on who is right. It didn’t matter if the connecting airline was late, or wrong in not calling ahead to the gate. The goal was to get on the plane to Paris.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“If you can’t write your idea on the back of my business card, you don’t have a clear idea of what you want to say.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“（十三）把焦點放在你能掌控的事上；（十四）避免爭論誰對誰錯。”
― Stuart Diamond, 華頓商學院最受歡迎的談判課：上完這堂課，世界都會聽你的

“One study looked at diversity in U.S. cities. The three most successful cities economically—New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco—were the three most diverse. Each 10 percent increase in diversity resulted in a rise in net income of 15 percent in the original U.S.-born population. Diversity of opinion—tolerance of differences—is particularly important in the high-tech sector.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“When the other person is mad at you, they may do things just for spite,”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“From now on, when you have a conflict with someone, ask yourself: (a) What am I perceiving? (b) What are they perceiving? (c) Is there a mismatch? (d) If so, why?”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“We are trying incrementally to move people in a direction where the cost is less, the risk is less, and the ethical insult is minimal. We are not going to change thousands of years of human nature or cultural norms overnight. In the real world—where you and I live—any improvement is a plus.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“the male student had a job offer in New York City, while his fiancée had a job offer in Los Angeles. They had argued for months about where they were going to live and which one of them was going to give up a hard-won job.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“people hurl insults or wave obnoxious banners at sports figures during games. The object is to get the players angry and emotional so they get distracted and lose focus on their goals: that is, to execute effectively to win the game.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“Brits and Swedes, for example, are culturally less emotive than Brazilians and Italians, but that doesn’t mean any individual in those cultures is less or more emotional.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“希拉蕊雖然在辯論中靠事實取勝了，卻因為失去民心和忽略流程而敗選。”
― Stuart Diamond, 華頓商學院最受歡迎的談判課：上完這堂課，世界都會聽你的

“Don’t laugh at the crocodile until you’ve crossed the river.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“Within each public issue, the clearest division is between moderates and extremists. As such, the right third parties in a negotiation are moderates. They, more than extremists, are focused on building a better way of life (tomorrow), whereas most extremists are focused on tearing things down as a penalty for yesterday.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World

“Emotion destroys negotiations and limits creativity. Focus is lost. Decision-making is poor. Retaliation often occurs.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“A simple apology? An elaborate apology? No apology, but flowers? In other words, emotional payments are very specific to the person and the situation.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

“You assume that everyone else reacts to things the way that you do.”
― Stuart Diamond, Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life