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Daniela F. Sieff
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“Marion Woodman describes the journey of growth as a spiral: We circle back to the same issues time and again, she says, and on each turn of the spiral we develop an expanded consciousness of what we carry in both our minds and bodies. As I approach the end of this article, I will spiral back to the words of Woodman, viewing them in an
expanded light:
'If this child knew in the womb that it was not the gender the parents longed for, or there was no money for another child, or timing in the marriage was bad, or it barely escaped abortion, this child knows it is not welcomed into life.… Not Wanted. Is there anything worse for a helpless infant to experience in its bones?'
An evolutionary consciousness would answer: No! There is nothing worse for a helpless infant to experience in its bones than being unwanted. That is because we carry in our collectively embodied unconscious a knowledge of how incredibly precarious life was for young humans during the deep past, as well as an understanding of how difficult it was for ancestral mothers. And however much we might want to deny this unpalatable aspect of humanity, it is this unconscious knowledge which gives the psyche’s archetypal images of the Death Mother such a powerful and disturbing charge, and which makes growing up in the shadow of the Death Mother so wounding.”
―
expanded light:
'If this child knew in the womb that it was not the gender the parents longed for, or there was no money for another child, or timing in the marriage was bad, or it barely escaped abortion, this child knows it is not welcomed into life.… Not Wanted. Is there anything worse for a helpless infant to experience in its bones?'
An evolutionary consciousness would answer: No! There is nothing worse for a helpless infant to experience in its bones than being unwanted. That is because we carry in our collectively embodied unconscious a knowledge of how incredibly precarious life was for young humans during the deep past, as well as an understanding of how difficult it was for ancestral mothers. And however much we might want to deny this unpalatable aspect of humanity, it is this unconscious knowledge which gives the psyche’s archetypal images of the Death Mother such a powerful and disturbing charge, and which makes growing up in the shadow of the Death Mother so wounding.”
―
“An evolutionary consciousness also has much to offer those whose childhood was marred by the archetypal Death Mother. Growing up with an indifferent, ambivalent, or hostile mother is likely to compromise emotional development and trigger the formation of a 'trauma-world'. Most of the clinical community is now aware of this dynamic; however, because popular discourse has focused on the harm caused by explicit sexual and physical abuse, many people who have grown up feeling 'merely' unloved find it difficult to understand their own feelings and behavior. This leaves them little choice but to mistakenly deduce that their suffering is rooted in some kind of intrinsic inadequacy of their own. Once such a conviction forms, shame takes hold, whereupon these individuals tend to become imprisoned by the belief that they are victims to their own supposed inadequacy. Incarcerated in this distorted belief system, there can be no genuine healing.
Again, an evolutionary consciousness can help to instigate change. Understanding that the Death Mother was all too real during our species’ evolutionary history, and that human infants and children have evolved to feel the emotional ambivalence of caregivers as a concrete threat to survival, frees people to change the context in which they experience themselves. Instead of believing that their feelings and behavior result from their own inadequacy, they can begin to understand them as a response to what, for most of our evolutionary history, would have meant actual death. Such a shift in perspective can help people develop a more compassionate and accepting relationship with themselves, and, as already emphasized, compassionate self-acceptance is a vital step in the process of change.”
―
Again, an evolutionary consciousness can help to instigate change. Understanding that the Death Mother was all too real during our species’ evolutionary history, and that human infants and children have evolved to feel the emotional ambivalence of caregivers as a concrete threat to survival, frees people to change the context in which they experience themselves. Instead of believing that their feelings and behavior result from their own inadequacy, they can begin to understand them as a response to what, for most of our evolutionary history, would have meant actual death. Such a shift in perspective can help people develop a more compassionate and accepting relationship with themselves, and, as already emphasized, compassionate self-acceptance is a vital step in the process of change.”
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