George Hagman

“Kohut identified three specific lines of development along which self development can successfully unfold. He labeled them mirroring, idealizing, and twinship experiences (Kohut, 1971, 1977, 1984). In the mirror line of development, we look to others to feel truly known and accurately seen. In the archaic mirror experience, we feel admired, the object of the other’s adoring gaze. In the more mature mirror experience, we feel recognized and valued for who we know ourselves to be. A successful mirror experience contributes to a cohesive, reliable, and realistic self-esteem, and a solid sense of self-worth. In the idealizing line of development, we look for a merger with someone whom we experience as calming, strong, and wise; one who offers him or herself for our protection and guidance. A successful merger with an idealized other provides opportunities for soothing, which results in a reliable capacity for affect regulation. Finally, in the twinship line of development, we look to find in the other an experience of alikeness, a feeling of sameness that is shared, which results in the consolidation of self experience. We seek to recognize ourselves in the other and yearn for the other to recognize themself in us. Twinship lays the groundwork for a sense of shared humanity, a feeling of being human among humans.”
― George Hagman, Intersubjective Self Psychology: A Primer

“On the other hand, self disorders are characterized by anxieties related to the potential emergence of selfobject transferences and accompanying vulnerabilities associated with the fear of repetition of trauma and other selfobject failures. These fears, anxieties, and dreads give rise to the repetitive transference patterns of patient and analyst, the intersection of which will equally shape the intersubjective field.”
― George Hagman, Intersubjective Self Psychology: A Primer