Elizabeth Marquardt

“The premise of the "good divorce" sounds logical. Surely, if divorce does happen, it is better for children not to lose significant relationships entirely, nor to be drawn into bitter, unending fights. However, if when you talk to the children themselves you find that the popular idea behind the "good divorce" - that the quality of the divorce matters more than the divorce itself - is actually an adult-centered vision that does not reflect their true experience.

While a "good divorce" is better than a bad divorce, it is still not good. For no matter how amicable divorced parents might be and how much they each love and care for the child, their willingness to do these things does absolutely nothing to diminish the radical restructuring of the child's universe.

Too many people think that a "good divorce" and a happy intact marriage are about the same for kids. But our research demonstrates strongly that, without question, a "good divorce" is far worse for children than a happy marriage. Of course, any child could tell you the same thing. No child thinks a "good divorce" is as good as the happy marriage of his or her own two parents.”
― Elizabeth Marquardt, Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce

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― Elizabeth Marquardt, Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce