Alicia Tobin

“have amazing hands. Paws? Haws. Hand-paws. Oof, did I just have a stroke? Raccoons have sensory nubs similar to taste buds in their hand-paws that allow them to know, just by touch, if something is food. So, in a way, when they are touching something, they are also tasting it. That means you could touch all the chocolates (when no one is looking; no one needs to know your private business) and determine which one is the orange cream and eat all the other ones first, until shamefully eating that one, too. It also basically means that whenever a raccoon gives another raccoon a hand job, it’s also giving them a blow job!”
― Alicia Tobin, So You're a Little Sad, So What?: Nice Things to Say to Yourself on Bad Days and Other Essays