Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

“The Rubber Band Theory,” the basic claim is that men fill up on intimacy, then need to withdraw and spend time away before they bounce back for an intimacy refill. First, the theory that men uniquely need solitude is incorrect. All humans seek connection at times and independence at other times. Connection isn’t a uniquely female impulse. Isolation isn’t a uniquely male impulse. What drives those tendencies has a lot more to do with factors such as personality and previous life experiences. The notion that men need their space normalizes and excuses a behavior that is potentially problematic for harmonious relationships. Research on couples communication shows that isolating oneself and refusing to discuss issues, otherwise known as stonewalling, is one of the worst possible things to do. That is, unless you’re trying to end the relationship.”
― Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship...and How to See Past Them