Alex Valentine
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July 2018
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“Dear Human,
My Human, the Old Lady (that’s her name) is a Russian scientist. Old Lady made a big scientific discovery: found the key to my eternal youth. Or even to immortality, if we like.
Old Lady made herself immortal first. I don’t blame her. Next, Martha-the-White-Rat. Then, me and my sister Milly—we trace our pedigree through the purest blood lines of Bavarian-born Spaniels. But then she stopped.
My other siblings look all aged by now.
But at my 17, I look no more than three or four. My sister Milly got stuck at puppy age.
We watch the photos of our relatives on Facebook, and we are saddened that Old Lady did not make them immortal too. That she keeps it a secret. And I am so worried about my friend Fox Theodore. He is at the hight of his financial and physical might now, but I know he will age. My best friend.
I once tried to unlock the Secret. Me and Raccoon. (Raccoon’s a human, but he is sort of my buddy.) That turned out to be my big mistake. Lots other Humans came coveting the Secret too, which resulted in a lot of unpleasant and funny stories. More unpleasant.
In the aftermath, Old Lady had to flee and I got misplaced. All my own fault. Now I’m trying to get found.
Have you seen my Old Lady? You’d recognize her: her hands and face are way too young, plus she always clips her amber brooch. If you see her, tell her where I stay:
7 White Goose Lane,
Ducklingburg, South Duck
United State of America
P.S. Tell her from me that she is the very finest Human in the whole world and that I am very lonely here without her.
Zip, the Spaniel Dog”
―
My Human, the Old Lady (that’s her name) is a Russian scientist. Old Lady made a big scientific discovery: found the key to my eternal youth. Or even to immortality, if we like.
Old Lady made herself immortal first. I don’t blame her. Next, Martha-the-White-Rat. Then, me and my sister Milly—we trace our pedigree through the purest blood lines of Bavarian-born Spaniels. But then she stopped.
My other siblings look all aged by now.
But at my 17, I look no more than three or four. My sister Milly got stuck at puppy age.
We watch the photos of our relatives on Facebook, and we are saddened that Old Lady did not make them immortal too. That she keeps it a secret. And I am so worried about my friend Fox Theodore. He is at the hight of his financial and physical might now, but I know he will age. My best friend.
I once tried to unlock the Secret. Me and Raccoon. (Raccoon’s a human, but he is sort of my buddy.) That turned out to be my big mistake. Lots other Humans came coveting the Secret too, which resulted in a lot of unpleasant and funny stories. More unpleasant.
In the aftermath, Old Lady had to flee and I got misplaced. All my own fault. Now I’m trying to get found.
Have you seen my Old Lady? You’d recognize her: her hands and face are way too young, plus she always clips her amber brooch. If you see her, tell her where I stay:
7 White Goose Lane,
Ducklingburg, South Duck
United State of America
P.S. Tell her from me that she is the very finest Human in the whole world and that I am very lonely here without her.
Zip, the Spaniel Dog”
―
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