Rikki Cloos

“Anxious Attachment Constant need for closeness/intimacy. Hypersensitivity to partner’s moods and actions. Tendency to be controlling when they feel threatened. Preoccupied by fear of abandonment. Prioritizes a partner’s wants/needs before their own. Unable to give a partner healthy space. Over-giving to partner, quick to dismiss their own needs. Excessive worrying/catastrophizing. Controlling behavior; requires a partner to prove their loyalty. Often adopts partner’s hobbies/interests to increase closeness. Feels deeply uncomfortable/unsafe expressing issues. Becomes overly dependent on their relationship. Vigilant for signs of abandonment/disloyalty. Constant need to please/gain approval. Unaware of/unable to express wants/needs. Poor sense of boundaries within a relationship. Requires frequent reassurance of partner’s commitment/care. Lets partner make the rules and set the tone of the relationship. Believes they must work to keep their partner interested. Highly jealous; suspects that their partner will be unfaithful. Has an unrealistic view of how a relationship should be. Feels uncomfortable receiving intimacy. Discomfort being single. Often jumps from partner to partner.”
― Rikki Cloos, The Anxious Hearts Guide: Rising Above Anxious Attachment

“I want to be gentle with myself and my progress even when it’s hard and I feel like I’ve failed; maybe especially then. I want to see myself in the best light; the light that I view the ones I love in. I am working to make my life better and I am lovable, as I am right now, flaws and all.”
― Rikki Cloos, The Anxious Hearts Guide: Rising Above Anxious Attachment