George A. Bonanno

“All emotions, including sadness, are designed to be short-term solu­tions. If we remain in a constant state of sadness or feel sad for too long
a time, we run the risk of ruminating and withdrawing from the world
around us. If we express too much sadness, we begin to alienate the
very people whose help and support we most need.”
― George A. Bonanno, The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss

“There is an advantage, the research shows us, in being op­timistic. People who cope well tend to have an indelible belief that things will somehow turn out OK. They also tend to be confident.
They believe that they will be able to exert at least some control over
the outcome of even the most difficult life events. This is not to say that
optimistic people believe they can undo the past or stop certain things
from happening. Sometimes, even the hardiest of individuals are initially stunned after a tragedy. Nonetheless, fueled by their deep-rooted sense that they can and should be able to move on, they manage to gather their strength, regroup, and work toward restoring the balance in their lives.
Along with these optimistic, self-confident beliefs, people who cope
well also have a broader repertoire of behaviors. Simply put, they seem
to have more tools in their toolboxes. One example is how resilient
people express emotion. We think that, as a general rule, the more we
show what we are feeling, the better off we will be. This is especially
true when bad things happen to us, and it is actually a cornerstone of
the traditional grief work idea.”
― George A. Bonanno, The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss