Andrea Raynor

“It's not unusual to feel emotionally split, as if living a dual reality. How we are functioning on the outside is often not reflective of what is happening on the inside. If we could photograph this, it might look like a double exposure. Grief is a layer that we wear on our hearts and spirits, at least for a time. Initially, it might be like outerwear. We wrap ourselves in it—we may even lose ourselves in it—and others understand that we cannot take it off in their presence, even if we tried. When it becomes too heavy or uncomfortable to lug around, we tuck it under the surface of our skin or pack it away in an interior closet. But we never forget it is there.”
― Andrea Raynor, The Alphabet of Grief: Words to Help in Times of Sorrow: Affirmations and Meditations

“Perhaps the first thing we can do is to acknowledge that there is, in reality, no such thing as living in the past. If there were, many brokenhearted people would be hopping the first train there. We are always living in the present moment; that’s all we have. But the present is not empty. Our internal sanctuaries cannot be robbed of what has already been or the treasure trove of memories we bring to everything we do and all that we see. Yesterday may be a time to which we can never go back, but it is also the guardian of what can never be taken from us—each moment shared and every tender word exchanged. We will always have these. When we are grieving, however, reaching for things in the past can be like stuffing our pockets with make-believe gold. We think the real gold lies behind us when, in reality, it lies within.”
― Andrea Raynor, The Alphabet of Grief: Words to Help in Times of Sorrow: Affirmations and Meditations