Cathy Song

“We were not allowed to love ourselves too much.
So I ate less, and less, and less,
nibbling my way out of meals—
the less I ate, the less
there was of me to love.
I liked it best when standing before the mirror,
I seemed to be disappearing into myself,
breasts sunken into the cavity of my bird-cage chest,
air my true element which fed
in those days of college, snow and brick bound,
the coal fire in my eyes.
No one knew how I truly felt about myself.
Fueled by my own impending disappearance,
I neither slept nor ate, but devoured radiance,
essential as chlorophyll,
the apples heated core.”
― Cathy Song, School Figures