Angela Kiss
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January 2016
More books by Angela Kiss…
“According to them, everyone wants to be English. Being English is the best thing in the world. (Far behind, the second best thing is being God himself.)”
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
“It is a well-known fact that English people never know anything. They only think. The only exception they know and they are sure about in the whole world is Marmite. ‘Love it or hate it.’ There are no other options; there is no space for grey space.”
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
“Living in the era of social media and dating apps, online dating is also a very popular dating method in England. It perfectly suits the English person’s superpower: being the invisible man or woman. They also like to keep their distance, and the internet is perfect for that. Also complimenting someone is easier online than offline; you don’t even have to say anything you just press a ‘like’ or a ‘wink’ button and that’s it; perfectly suitable for romantically retarded people.”
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“Dating in England is different. First of all because English people don’t like at all other people knowing them, and second, because English people are romantically impaired.”
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
“English people don’t like to be told ‘enjoy your meal’. They will enjoy their meal if they feel like enjoying it. It is advisable not to command them such things in case they have other plans with their meal, such as preferring to dislike it.”
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
“Never, and by this I mean never, criticise the English weather. Especially if you’re an alien. For an English woman, it’s as though you are scolding her first born child. For an Englishman, it’s as if you are criticising the size of his penis. Or even worse: his football team.”
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
“In the mind of The English, kissing in the rain, as well as other public displays of affection, belongs to the category of soft porn. Sane people don’t do soft porn in public. Only animals do. And aliens.”
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
“According to them, everyone wants to be English. Being English is the best thing in the world. (Far behind, the second best thing is being God himself.)”
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
― How to Be an Alien in England: A Guide to the English
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