Frances Lefkowitz

“My despair liked a sunny day, windless, a day warmer than it should be, a day that would bring delight to most other people. It would hang in this air and then creep inside me so I felt a bit off, as if infected by a virus, but was not quite sure what was wrong until it had settled in for good and it was too late to fight it back. Soon, my vision would be warped, my head and thighs heavy, my gait lumbering. It kept both fatigue and rest at bay, so I’d wander through day and night as if sleepwalking through water. And I would wander. Around and around the house I’d go, trying to find something to hold my attention, something that felt important and necessary to do. I’d pick up the broom, the rake, the checkbook, the telephone, the pen, but the vapor had penetrated everything, rendering each object weightless and irrelevant. The lamp, the tea kettle, the books on the shelf, the notes I’d written to myself and stuck on the wall: all had been compressed from 3-D to 2-D, like flimsy cartoon versions of themselves.”
― Frances Lefkowitz, To Have Not