Joyce Maguire Pavao

“I believe there is no such thing as “termination” in the relationship between children and their birth families. Even if the birth parents die, it’s not “over.” By creating a ritual based on the pretense that the relationship has ended, the child’s internal reality is at odds with the external one. Most of the children we see clinically, especially those who are older at the time of their placement (both domestic and international) are emotionally preoccupied with these dissonances. They may not have words to describe the depth of their confusion or longing or rage, since these experiences most often occurred precognitively and preverbally.”
― Joyce Maguire Pavao, The Family of Adoption: Completely Revised and Updated

“the problems that exist for children in foster care today exist right up the chain of the administration that serves them. Professionals should be aware of their own personal feelings of insecurity (about the salient issues in adoption), confusion about their roles, manipulation, and fear of loss or change that is also replicated in the system as a whole. These problems, as they are played out by the government, the agencies, workers, caretakers, parents, and other adults, do not give a child much hope for change.”
― Joyce Maguire Pavao, The Family of Adoption: Completely Revised and Updated