Elizabeth M. Ellis

“Underdeveloped adolescents all too often feel strong emotion and look for escape, since they can think of no way to cope with the situation. Many turn to alcohol or getting high, “so I won’t have to feel anything.” Many are explosive and verbally or physically abusive toward family members. The parents of such teenagers may report that their adolescent son constantly fights with his girlfriend and has pounded a hole in the wall with his fist or smashed the phone down so hard he broke it while arguing with her on the phone. Or they may report that when they confront their daughter about her poor schoolwork, she leaves home for several days. She usually turns up at a friend’s house, but when she comes home after”
― Elizabeth M. Ellis, Raising a Responsible Child: How Parents Can Avoid Indulging Too Much and Rescuing Too Often

“By the time children are in their teens, two new skills are added to this repertoire. One is the ability to manage strong, negative emotions such as anger, fear, jealousy, and rejection. The other problem-solving skill is the ability to see a situation through the eyes of another person. The researchers called this skill “role-taking ability,” but we could just as easily call it compassion or empathy. Though all these skills described so far were important, it was this factor, more than any of the others, that separated successful teenagers”
― Elizabeth M. Ellis, Raising a Responsible Child: How Parents Can Avoid Indulging Too Much and Rescuing Too Often