Cynthia Ulrich Tobias

“To combat the sin of self-sufficiency, we need a special kind of faith. It's what I call Starbucks Rest Room Faith. Almost every Starbucks store has a sensor that controls the light in the rest room. You can't just flip a switch, and you can't make it go on by just waving your arm inside the door. You have to put your whole body into that dark room and trust that the light will come on as you enter. Faith in God is a lot like that. He doesn't offer a safety net, He doesn't let us hedge our bets, and He doesn't give any guaranteed results ahead of time. We have to be all in before the light comes on.”
― Cynthia Ulrich Tobias, A Woman of Strength and Purpose: Directing Your Strong Will to Improve Relationships, Expand Influence, and HonorGod

“1. Value my ability to see the world from a unique perspective.
(Find ways to appreciate and make the most of my strengths, even when I annoy you).

2. Remember, we need compelling problems to solve, not just chores to do.
(Don't be the "big boss." I'll respect your authority more when you tell me the point).

3. Ask for my input; keep me in the informational loop.
(Give me some ownership in the process and the outcome).

4. Protect our relationship - you won't get much from me without one.
(Respect and value who I am, and I'll cooperate with you most of the time).

5. Smile at me more often.
(Keep your sense of humor and try to smile, even when you don't like me).

6. Don't let me push you around, but don't push me around either.
(Don't be afraid to stand up to me; just don't run over me).

7. Speak to me respectfully, but firmly.
(Use your voice wisely; it's a powerful resource).

8. Choose your battles - don't sweat the small stuff.
(Decide what's really worth it).

9. Give me some control over my own life and circumstances.
(Allow me to share control with our surrendering your authority).

10. Remind me how much you love me.
(Find subtle ways to keep reminding me your love will always be there).”
― Cynthia Ulrich Tobias, You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded): Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child