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Shahida Arabi MA
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Breaking Trauma Bonds with Narcissists and Psychopaths: Stop the Cycle of Manipulation, Exploitation, and Abuse in Your Romantic Relationships
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“May you receive divine compensation and justice for what was taken from you in the past. May you receive divine favor for any way you have been violated and betrayed. May blessings come to you tenfold for any trials you previously suffered and endured. May you become the divine weapon that prospers against those who mean you harm.”
― Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare
― Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare
“Is it limerence or love? It’s important to note that in limerence, the addiction to this other person is often heightened by the fantasy, not the reality, of who they are and the nature of the relationship. Love and limerence overlap in that the more “challenging” the potential partner seems to obtain, the more alluring and rewarding that person may inevitably become to you. Love activates reward centers of the brain, creating a euphoric dopamine high that is extremely difficult to detox from, especially in unpredictable relationships. If you think you’re suffering from limerence or obsession, assess why you feel so drawn to this person and what they represent. Often we aren’t obsessed with this person, but rather what they mean to us. Perhaps they represent a new beginning after a breakup or the fulfillment of deep unmet needs in childhood. Maybe they’re an easier route to cope with our emotional unavailability than, say, actually dealing with the root of our emotional unavailability. Having a fantasy relationship, after all, is often times a lot more of an alluring prospect than having to deal with the actual struggles of modern dating or relationships.”
― Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse
― Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse
“Toxic love and limerence overlap in that the more "challenging" the potential partner seems to obtain, the more alluring that person may inevitably become to you. Love activates reward centers of the brain, creating a euphoric dopamine high that is extremely difficult to detox from, and in adversity-ridden relationships, dopamine tends to flow more readily in the brain when the rewards aren't as predictable such as in a toxic relationship. Psychologists have discovered that the brains of people in love resemble the brains of cocaine addicts especially in chaotic relationships. This is why you may experience a deep withdrawal effect when the object of your affection is not around or when they've withdrawn from you. Often we aren't obsessed with this person, but rather what they represent and mean to us.”
― Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse
― Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse
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