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Zoë Crook MA

Website

https://zoecrooktherapy.com/about/

Genre

Self Help

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I saw my first therapist when I was 11 years old for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). My anxiety was debilitating and manifested in peculiar ways, like refolding my clothes and counting tiles on the floor. I was exhausted by 12. I thought something was wrong with me — inherently wrong with me. Cue shame.

When I was 14 years old, I started getting high. I also got in trouble. But who cared? When I was high, I was free. I started college and moved to New York City. I was a straight-A student, an overachiever of sorts. I overextended myself in school, with friends, and in my relationships. I was burnt out. Cue cocaine. Cocaine gave me the boost I needed. It was like a warm hug, a soft blanket that I could pull over my head and make everythi I saw my first therapist when I was 11 years old for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). My anxiety was debilitating and manifested in peculiar ways, like refolding my clothes and counting tiles on the floor. I was exhausted by 12. I thought something was wrong with me — inherently wrong with me. Cue shame.

When I was 14 years old, I started getting high. I also got in trouble. But who cared? When I was high, I was free. I started college and moved to New York City. I was a straight-A student, an overachiever of sorts. I overextended myself in school, with friends, and in my relationships. I was burnt out. Cue cocaine. Cocaine gave me the boost I needed. It was like a warm hug, a soft blanket that I could pull over my head and make everything disappear, even myself.

Time went on. A lot happened. I moved around, different states, then countries. I changed career paths, formed new relationships and joined different circles. All this change and yet I was stuck banging my head against the same wall.

And then he died. Just like that. Freak accident.
He had been my partner and friend for three years. I drank and got high until I forgot. I drank and got high until I couldn’t drink or get high anymore. Regression is a light way of putting it.
One afternoon, in the midst of an egregious hangover, I called my mother. She listened to me whimper and then after a long pause she said, “You know Zoe, wherever you go, there you are.”
I hung up the phone, face-down on my bedroom floor. There’s nowhere left to run, I thought. A part of me was relieved. A much bigger part of me was scared.

As I laid splattered across my floor like a bug on a windshield, I decided I needed to stop blaming everything and everyone else for my pain. I was not a victim. No one was going to walk into my cave and drag me out. If I wanted to see the light of day again, I had to learn how to crawl.

I found a therapist whose firm, unwavering presence helped me change my life. Her brutal honesty was painful and revitalizing. I discovered the power of empathy coupled with accountability. I began to find meaning in my pain and gratitude for my suffering. My mistakes became lessons. I realized that joy doesn’t make us wiser, only pain can do that.
I show up for people in their pain because I know what it feels like in the belly of the whale. If I have anything to thank the universe for, it’s my ability to walk alongside others in the dark.

Gave up being right for being kind. Chose disappointing others over disappointing myself. Traded hope of a different past for forgiveness.
Stopped dating from my wounds. Met and married a kind, available man. Learned that relationships don't have to feel like a battlefield and healthy love is calm, steady, and secure.
Built a partnership rooted in mutual respect and genuine connection.

Although the journey into self can be daunting, the only way out is through. I believe through authentic connection, genuine curiosity, and love, we have the power to change and I believe everyone deserves that ...more

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Self-Love in Action: Practical Ways to Bring Self-Compassion into Work, Relationships & Everyday Life

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Zoë Crook MA’s Followers

Zoë Crook MA

Combine EditionsZoë Crook MA’s books

Combine Editions
Zoë Crook MA’s books