Charles M. Sevilla

“Settlement (Ephraim Margolin, San Francisco) Such news of an amicable settlement having made this court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off of a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory. The clerk shall engage the services of a structural engineer to ascertain if the return of this file to the Clerk’s office will exceed the maximum structural load of the floor of said office. Judge Wins Reelection While Pleading Insanity [Huffington Post, Chicago, Nov.”
― Charles M. Sevilla, Law and Disorder: Absurdly Funny Moments from the Courts

“THE COURT I don’t like what your attorney has done in the use of his peremptory challenges. I think what he did was illegal, and quite frankly, I think it was immoral. But that does not mean he is not a capable attorney. Felony”
― Charles M. Sevilla, Law and Disorder: Absurdly Funny Moments from the Courts