Al Purdy

“Where the Moment Is”

I forget whether I ever loved you
in the past - when you enter the room
your climate is the mood
of living, the hinge of now,
in time the present tense.
Certainly you are the world
I am not done with
until I dispense with words -
Neutral as nature: something I say
will flash back like light
or shadow: you wait and become
a stranger I've not met
or hated or slept with.
The action begins quickly
word, inflection, reaction fall
into his place the moment is;
sometimes I can pre-determine you,
and taste you
becoming in my mouth,
a blank map to explore
in silence, a thought gone out
of me to make you be or say -
Eventually you back against
a wall and I or we may
suddenly find our mouths screaming
in anger or laughter
without meaning - and wince.
But the damned trouble and after
my existence - in my absence
you expect or mourn without a sound.”
― Al Purdy, Beyond Remembering: The Collected Poems of Al Purdy