I’m on my way to a water park from Hell with my gung-ho, I-Can-Do-Anything-You-Can-Do (but better!!!) daughters. The first thing they’re going to do is drag me on “The Slide.” You know the one. I’m sure you’ve seen them. Just follow the screams, and then look up. No higher. Higher! There you go. They’re the ones the young boys stand around so they can laugh at all the geezer’s pulling their swimsuits out of places they were never meant to be. (Oh, great! Am I one of them now?)

Time will only tell. My ego always seems to get me into trouble. I’ve picked the most wedgie-proof swimsuit I own, so wish me luck….