I follow my BFF in my head, Steve, on twitter. So should you! He’s a living guide for writers, offering free and witty advice in 140 characters or less. Also, he’s woke, and makes excellent use of the F word.

As with dieting, I take writing advice with a grain of salt. No need to say “never,” just practice moderation.

For example, my BFF also thinks dialogue indicators should be limited to “asked” and “said,” but they get redundant, and aren’t as effective when characters are yelling, snapping, whispering, moaning (which happens a lot in romance, hehe), or my personal favorite: murmuring. Honestly, a romance without murmuring isn’t a romance at all.

So, on the 24th day in the year of our Lord, two thousand and seventeen, my BFF tweeted:

Writing a story or a novel? Great! Want a tip? NEVER use the phrase "for a long moment."

— Stephen King (@StephenKing) July 25, 2017

My heart stopped, I got goosebumps, and a storm cloud of doom followed me around until I could get home and pull up my WIP to see if I’d committed this heinous offense.

[Spoiler]: I did.

Twice in my debut novel, which is in production right now and will undergo no further edits. Yippee! But I’m totally okay with this, because my BFF made this confession on his Facebook page the same day he tweeted that tweet:

Many fans tried to rip him for being guilty of something he advised against, even going as far as posting every single time he used the phrase in his published works.

Eh, if that’s how you want to spend your time…I get it, but that’s kind of the point. He, like any writer, can look back over his earlier works and find something to improve upon (and possibly cringe at). It shows growth as an author, and it’s amazing that my BFF wants to pass along his many years of knowledge. He’s seasoned, okay? The rest of us are still marinating in the brine. (Some of us are more salty than others.) I KNOW, I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF.

So today, I cracked open my new WIP, and found a few examples to share with you, along with revisions.

Carmen was quiet for a long moment after he’d finished speaking, and then nodded, seeming to agree with her own thoughts.

Carmen took a few sips of her café con leche, using the comfortable silence after he’d finished speaking to sort out her own thoughts. Then she nodded, seeming to agree with whatever conclusion she’d drawn.

For a moment, he just watched her, and for once, it didn’t make her uncomfortable to feel so exposed.

For a full phrase, he just watched her, and for once, it didn’t make her uncomfortable to feel so exposed.

They were quiet for a moment, listening to the bustle outside the door.

They were quiet, listening to the bustle outside the door.

He wasn’t alone for a moment, constantly stopped for animated conversation with adoring colleagues and fans.

He wasn’t alone for a second, constantly stopped for animated conversation with adoring colleagues and fans.

This was a great exercise for me, and took just m̶o̶m̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ minutes. In many cases, simply cutting the offending phrase is enough. Obviously the action is taking place during a moment. Life is full of moments, so spelling that out is a bit vague. Are we talking seconds? Minutes? During a heightened moment, even seconds can feel long, so a “long moment” is relative.

When cutting isn’t enough, it might be an opportunity to delve a little deeper, build tension, fill the “long moment” with some action, so the reader experiences it with the character(s). Show, don’t tell.

Some of the writing isms from which I’ve been #delivert are:

Excessive use of “as,” eyes widening and brows lifting, and beginning too many sentences with “And.” I love starting sentences with “And,” but it loses its effectiveness without moderation.

What are some of your writing “isms?” Comment below!