“Imposter Syndrome” is a psychological term used to describe a persistent, deep belief that nothing you do is real, and that you’re at risk of being exposed as a total phony at any moment.

It ain’t fun.

I imagine I’m more susceptible because I work for myself and spend a lot of time alone, so it’s easy to get something in my head and let it build. Also, identity has been a confusing thread throughout my life, which doesn’t help.

Some days it feels like this whole social media thing is a big joke that went way too far, and now it’s my life. The lines between the Tiffany I was, the Jessica I am, and the Jessica I’m creating get blurry. I’m certainly not who I used to be, but I’m definitely not who the Internet thinks I am.

I’ll meet people at events or conventions and my face will hurt from fake smiling so hard because I don’t know what else to do. I get tension headaches, Some days, I wish I was 100 percent Jessica Wilde, but. . . she’s just this “thing” I’ve created. She’s a project. She’s confident, witty, sarcastic, and always beautiful. She’s motivated and never doubts herself. She is a badass bitch.

I, on the other hand, am trying really hard not to eat an oversized cookie right now, and I just want somebody to love me for who I am.

I’ve had women message me on Instagram, and tell me they wish they were Jessica. I can relate; I wish I were her, too.