~CORRUPTER OF TEENS~
The 1D flaming died right down for a while, but it started happening again a couple of days ago so I assume the children have been talking about it somewhere and riling each other up. I'm not upset by it, I just find the whole thing so weird and funny. Especially when I got a message from somebody's mother telling me off for writing unacceptable filth and poisoning her daughter's mind...!? I'd quote some parts because it's honestly unbelievable the way she ranted on, but she actually got really vile and threatening (no wonder those horrible children behave the way they do if their mothers are like this) and then stupidly went and signed her name at the bottom, so I'm considering reporting her to... I don't know who. I'll figure something out.
I honestly don't give a fuck what some tinhat children and their awful mothers say about me on the internet, because I have actual problems I'd prefer to spend my time worrying about, but I will not stand for being told to kill myself. I draw a massive line right there. Not because it bothers me, but because I've known kids who were bullied to the point of suicide, and if they're saying that shit to an adult with skin six inches thick then what's going to stop them from saying it to vulnerable 13-year-olds who don't deal with it so well? They accuse me of bullying, but I'm not sure how they don't realise there's there's a massive difference between laughing at a ridiculous situation on a personal blog and telling someone to slit their wrists.
That crazy mother called me everything in the world because she found my books on her teenage daughter's computer and apparently that's my fault. ?! Not really sure how to respond to that part in particular, except to say that when I was thirteen my mother knew what I was up to online. It was 1997 though, early internet days (AOL chatrooms and dying-robot modem screeches), plus I was still out in the fresh air climbing trees and playing Power Rangers with my cousins at thirteen. I realise kids these days ~grow up earlier~ and it's got to be more difficult for parents to keep on top of things now teenagers all have their own laptops and smartphones and stuff, but if you're seriously worried about what your kid is doing online? MONITOR IT. Don't leave her up in her room for seven hours every night writing sonnets on Tumblr about pretty boys' fictional sex lives and sending hate to their inconvenient girlfriends on Twitter, and don't come and sling vile accusations at me. I'm a paedophile, apparently. I groom children with my dirty books. ?! She's going to contact the police and make sure my pornography gets taken down and I get arrested. I'm pretty sure that writing a bit of fiction where two adults have a lot of consensual sex isn't an arrestable crime, but she's welcome to waste as much of her own free time as she wants. I've got plenty of death threats and libel I could show them in return.
The problem of how easy it is for children to get hold of inappropriate books is an interesting one, though. BBC News reported on it a while ago: Unlike television - with its nine o'clock watershed - and the age classification of films and video games, and even the labelling of explicit lyrics on music, there is no age restriction on buying books in the UK.
I was reading "inappropriate" books really early, I read things like Dracula and Lolita when I was still in primary school and they never struck me as inappropriate, they were just stories with good bits and bad bits and bits I didn't really understand until I re-read them later. Obviously there's a difference though between books with adult themes and books where you've got a 99% chance of seeing the word cock when you open up to a random page. I wouldn't stop my 10-year-old cousin from reading Dracula, but if I saw her with Stockholm Syndrome I'd rip if out of her hands and burn it in about three seconds flat. There are levels of inappropriate, but I don't see how it's ever the author's fault unless the book is a straight up hate rant or instructions on how to murder someone without being caught. Blaming me for writing a book for and marketed towards adults that's discovered and read by a child is absurd. Pay attention to your kids. I am not your damn babysitter.
I honestly don't give a fuck what some tinhat children and their awful mothers say about me on the internet, because I have actual problems I'd prefer to spend my time worrying about, but I will not stand for being told to kill myself. I draw a massive line right there. Not because it bothers me, but because I've known kids who were bullied to the point of suicide, and if they're saying that shit to an adult with skin six inches thick then what's going to stop them from saying it to vulnerable 13-year-olds who don't deal with it so well? They accuse me of bullying, but I'm not sure how they don't realise there's there's a massive difference between laughing at a ridiculous situation on a personal blog and telling someone to slit their wrists.
That crazy mother called me everything in the world because she found my books on her teenage daughter's computer and apparently that's my fault. ?! Not really sure how to respond to that part in particular, except to say that when I was thirteen my mother knew what I was up to online. It was 1997 though, early internet days (AOL chatrooms and dying-robot modem screeches), plus I was still out in the fresh air climbing trees and playing Power Rangers with my cousins at thirteen. I realise kids these days ~grow up earlier~ and it's got to be more difficult for parents to keep on top of things now teenagers all have their own laptops and smartphones and stuff, but if you're seriously worried about what your kid is doing online? MONITOR IT. Don't leave her up in her room for seven hours every night writing sonnets on Tumblr about pretty boys' fictional sex lives and sending hate to their inconvenient girlfriends on Twitter, and don't come and sling vile accusations at me. I'm a paedophile, apparently. I groom children with my dirty books. ?! She's going to contact the police and make sure my pornography gets taken down and I get arrested. I'm pretty sure that writing a bit of fiction where two adults have a lot of consensual sex isn't an arrestable crime, but she's welcome to waste as much of her own free time as she wants. I've got plenty of death threats and libel I could show them in return.
The problem of how easy it is for children to get hold of inappropriate books is an interesting one, though. BBC News reported on it a while ago: Unlike television - with its nine o'clock watershed - and the age classification of films and video games, and even the labelling of explicit lyrics on music, there is no age restriction on buying books in the UK.
I was reading "inappropriate" books really early, I read things like Dracula and Lolita when I was still in primary school and they never struck me as inappropriate, they were just stories with good bits and bad bits and bits I didn't really understand until I re-read them later. Obviously there's a difference though between books with adult themes and books where you've got a 99% chance of seeing the word cock when you open up to a random page. I wouldn't stop my 10-year-old cousin from reading Dracula, but if I saw her with Stockholm Syndrome I'd rip if out of her hands and burn it in about three seconds flat. There are levels of inappropriate, but I don't see how it's ever the author's fault unless the book is a straight up hate rant or instructions on how to murder someone without being caught. Blaming me for writing a book for and marketed towards adults that's discovered and read by a child is absurd. Pay attention to your kids. I am not your damn babysitter.
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message 1:
by
Emma Sea
(new)
Sep 21, 2012 01:35AM
This sucks, Richard. Obviously you're handling it the right way, but it sucks and this woman sounds like a piece of work. Imprecations to commit suicide cannot be ignored, because you're right, vulnerable people do kill themselves because of this kind of behaviour. It's not OK, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
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The whole melodrama is so stupid and weird! The internet is such a valuable thing, especially I think for creative types, but I hate how easy it makes it for people to be so awful and abusive to each other without any obvious consequences. It's kind of depressing to think of ours being the last generation that grew up without it, everyone else from here on is going to be plugged in from birth. Maaaybe as it becomes more a part of life people will get better behaved with it all? I have no idea.
I'm terrified of what this witch's poor daughter must have to endure! Her life must be pretty freaking rough. I cannot imagine living with a parent that is so hateful and venomous. Remember way back when (pre-internet) if you wanted to tell someone off or you had the urge to hurt someone that you actually had to confront that person face to face? Remember how there were consequences, that your actions were not going to be anonymous, that someone would recognize you on the street for the asshat you are? I think those days are gone.
I'm sad to say that I don't have much faith that people will become better behaved. They will never know how hard it is to actually look someone in the eye when they're spitting hateful things at another living, breathing human being. It's too easy to disconnect these days. It's too easy to hate indiscriminately and it breaks my heart.
Richard wrote: "The whole melodrama is so stupid and weird! The internet is such a valuable thing, especially I think for creative types, but I hate how easy it makes it for people to be so awful and abusive to ea..."
Sadly I think there is no way back now. A lot of kids spend most of their free time on social media. Just this week a girl at my daughter's school was expelled for making a fake Facebook account (in her best friends name no less) and posting a lot of ugly and hateful stuff on her "friends" walls. Both teachers and parents where in shock. We have no way of monitoring the kids anymore. At home yes, but smartphones and PCs are everywhere. The only thing you can do is talk to your kids and spend time with them but I know parents these days are woefully busy an have a hard time catching up. My daughter is fourteen. I'm not sure if I should be worried in her lack of interest in trolling the www or if I should just feel relieved. I think I'll go for relieved. She is out climbing trees. *puh*
Sadly I think there is no way back now. A lot of kids spend most of their free time on social media. Just this week a girl at my daughter's school was expelled for making a fake Facebook account (in her best friends name no less) and posting a lot of ugly and hateful stuff on her "friends" walls. Both teachers and parents where in shock. We have no way of monitoring the kids anymore. At home yes, but smartphones and PCs are everywhere. The only thing you can do is talk to your kids and spend time with them but I know parents these days are woefully busy an have a hard time catching up. My daughter is fourteen. I'm not sure if I should be worried in her lack of interest in trolling the www or if I should just feel relieved. I think I'll go for relieved. She is out climbing trees. *puh*
oceankitty wrote: "Richard wrote: "The whole melodrama is so stupid and weird! The internet is such a valuable thing, especially I think for creative types, but I hate how easy it makes it for people to be so awful a..."I agree...and our kids are so sharp...so far ahead of us. I'm thinking that it's maybe a bit of a waste to put the emphasis on social media P's & Q's when it's clearly more important to help our kids develop compassion and patience and acceptance and understanding of things and people in "the real world". And I'm sorry, but a huge dose of guilt works wonders as well.
Erin wrote: "oceankitty wrote: "Richard wrote: "The whole melodrama is so stupid and weird! The internet is such a valuable thing, especially I think for creative types, but I hate how easy it makes it for peop..."
I'm continually surprised when parents teach their children to climb over bodies to get what they want, but they do. One mom I know said: better to be a bully than to be bullied. Another said: Of course I give her whatever she wants, she's not going to be looked down upon because she desn't have the latest fab.
It seems the trend is to teach the kids to be selfish and materialistic instead of compassionate and kind. Compared to her classmates my daughter doesn't have much, but she has empathy and a strong sense of justice. I wouldn't want it any other way. But my kid is a loner though, a bit of a wolf really, and not willing to follow the flock of sheep the way kids her age often do.
I'm continually surprised when parents teach their children to climb over bodies to get what they want, but they do. One mom I know said: better to be a bully than to be bullied. Another said: Of course I give her whatever she wants, she's not going to be looked down upon because she desn't have the latest fab.
It seems the trend is to teach the kids to be selfish and materialistic instead of compassionate and kind. Compared to her classmates my daughter doesn't have much, but she has empathy and a strong sense of justice. I wouldn't want it any other way. But my kid is a loner though, a bit of a wolf really, and not willing to follow the flock of sheep the way kids her age often do.
oceankitty wrote: "Erin wrote: "oceankitty wrote: "Richard wrote: "The whole melodrama is so stupid and weird! The internet is such a valuable thing, especially I think for creative types, but I hate how easy it make..."Sounds like our kids would be great friends! :)
Erin wrote: "I'm terrified of what this witch's poor daughter must have to endure! Her life must be pretty freaking rough. I cannot imagine living with a parent that is so hateful and venomous.I'm not sure, I think the woman was doing it out of love and worry for her kid but she's just got a really bizarre and insulting way of doing it. She sounds like one of those pearl-clutching conservative "won't someone think of the children?!" types and she blew up at me because I'm a convenient example of what's threatening her beige little utopia.
It was a proper full on gay-bashing rant though, that's definitely troubling :( (I don't like calling it homophobia, that legitimises it as a sort of illness when it's not, it's just bigotry and hate.) I massively disagree with the way these kids obsess over boyband members' sex lives, but it's still upsetting to have to assume that reading online is the only way the girl has of being around anyone who doesn't fit politely into the right labelled box.
I am sorry that you were the target of her rantings. *hugs* :)
This is just getting obscenely ridiculous. I cannot believe you're receiving this amount of vitriol for blog posts on YOUR website oO *boggle*.You know, in England they arrested that guy for saying nasty things to that swimmer (making threats, not just saying nasty things) on Twitter. I think you should send the email to the police if she's making threats.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to be a parent of a teenager in this day and age. I remember sneaking out of the house and watering down the liquor as I stole it from the parent's cabinets. It's not possible to stop them from doing EVERYTHING, but it's certainly possible to not BLAME a writer for the parent's loss of control.
Sorry you're dealing with this, Richard >8( It must just suck ass.
Un-frigging-believable. I also read a heap of inappropriate stuff when I was a kid. And when my mother caught me -- I think it was one of my cousin's porn mags of all things -- she sat me down for The Talk.
It's called parenting. People should try it before they start blaming other people for what their children are doing.
This is why my kids never were or will be allowed to have their own computers in their rooms. The family computer is in the dining room and my house is small, so you have to walk past it to get anywhere. Maybe the parents who are so pissed at you should spend time talking to their children and explaining what is and isn't appropriate for them at their age instead of spewing hate in your direction. It's America, shitheads, an author can write whatever he wants and if your kids are unsupervised, it's nobody's fault but yours what they are reading.Richard, you bear no responsibility to police anyone else's children. Too many parents today (and I have a 14 year old, so I know of what I speak) want to blame any and everything else for their own shortcomings as supervisors and mentors of their own children. If my son is unable to talk to me about things, I make sure he has someone (usually his 22 yo sister) he is comfortable talking with. If he is trying to view or read (haha, he hates to read) something I deem inappropriate for his age, I speak to him (not the author, publisher, ISP or cashier at the bookstore) calmly and explain why it is not for him.
Parents need to parent.
Sounds like she's having a sudden crisis of guilt over her failure to control her child's online activity and reading matter and is now looking round for someone else to blame. I wonder if she'd contact the director with threats if she caught her child watching an 18-rated film. Ridiculous behaviour and a poor example to her daughter. Anyone would think you actively marketed your work to One Direction fans (instead of getting a load of abusive hate mail from them when you tell them it's not actually about One Direction and they shouldn't be reading it!) I almost hope she does contact the police, maybe then you'll actually get an opportunity to tell them about receiving death threats and being the victim of illegal file sharing when all you're doing is minding your own business and getting on with writing quality fiction for adults.
W.O.W. I am very late to the party.That's kind of hilarious, though. The part about "my daughter's been reading your books and it's all YOUR fault that I haven't been paying attention to what she's been up to online/reading!!!!1!"
Because, clearly, as the author it is your responsibility to make sure her child is kept safe from all the "bad" online.
I'm sorry you have to deal with her shit because she didn't/couldn't keep track of her daughter.
