CENA!



About two years ago, before my return to WWE, I saw John Cena deliver a very good, emotional promo, and thought I'd mention that fact on my fledgeling Twitter account - I think I was closing in on 70K followers at the time. So I tweeted something along the lines of, "Great promo by @John Cena - I think it's about time more people recognized his legacy of great matches in @WWE" Two minutes later, i turned to my daughter and said, "I just got over a thousand messages."



"But Dad", she said. "You only sent that out two minutes ago."



"I know", I said. "Let me try it again." So I sent another tweet, aimed at the 50% or so who thought a Cena compliment of any kind was nothing short of sacrilege. The other 50% - members of the Cenation - absolutely loved my comment, and now felt like they had a newest and bestest buddy in The Hardcore Legend.



So, realizing that I had touched on some hot-button issue, I sent out a follow-up tweet, "oh yeah, then try to find a bad John Cena match on PPV", then sat back with my daughter and watched the interactions come flooding in - like i was racking up some kind of huge score on an old fashioned pinball game. Ding, ding, ding, ding! Over 800 more messages - split almost down the middle, with 99% of the negative ones pointing to the match with R-Truth as the proof that Cena had bad matches on PPV.



"But that's the exception that proves the rule", I wrote back, and so on and so forth, until, by thew end of the night, for better or worse, I had become a high-profile John Cena fan - making me a hero to many, a heretic to others.



I know that many of you are probably thinking, "that's all fine..but where's the bad stuff about Cena?" Don't worry; I'm getting to that. I first had to establish a historical bond between me as a Cena supporter, and his avid fan-base - The Cenation.



Ready for that old-fashioned Foley anger? Think of this in ECW "Cane Dewey" mode now, because I am really fed-up, and having listened to "Stay Hungry" by Twisted Sister in the past few days, I have a little of that "We're not gonna take it" vibe going on. Look, I had a nice exchange with a twitter follower this morning, where I explained to him that the best way to ensure you don't get a follow from someone is to send out constant requests for a follow. Because, once you do follow that person, you find that his twitter feed consists largely of constantly asking other people for follows. I guess it's the same way that people feel when they follow me and find out all I do is put out plugs for shows that are not in their part of the country or world. Plus, I get the thrill of the whole "follow" thing. I put a nice tweet out about actress Jennifer Blanc-Biehn ( @JenniferBlancB ) helping me out when I was lost and confused (actually physically lost - I couln't find my way to The Artie Lange Show) and was THRILLED to see that she'd just followed me. Every few months, I click on @ZooeyDeschanel's profile, just to see if she MIGHT be following me. So, I get that. But if I want to get a follow from Zoeey, I have to believe that constantly asking her for a follow would be the WORST way to accomplish that goal. Because as much as not being followed by Zooey might not feel as good as being follwed by her, it's a heck of a lot better than finding out I've been blocked by Zooey Deschanel for constant follow requests.



I'm getting off track. You want some Cena dirt, right? Well here it is - even if it has very little to actually do with Cena, and everything to do with The Cenation. It's just become increasingly hard for me to believe that many of these follow requests, coming from people claiming to be my "biggest fan" can actually be coming from my biggest fan, when their Twitter handle has the words "CENA" or "CENATION" in it! Come on guys, a simple click of a button showing me a caption that reads, "John Cena is my hero, my idol and my God. I live and breath for him" is a likely indicator that the person repeatedly asking for a request is, in fact, not likely to be my biggest fan. In fact, I often get repetitive requests for follows from people claiming to be my biggest fan, check out their profile, and find  that I'm NOT EVEN ON THEIR list of favorite wrestlers.



You know what would make me feel better? Hearing from John Cena himself that he is being inundated by requests for follows from his "biggest fans" - coming from members of The Folenation, or The Association of Little Micksters.



There it is: my Cena rant. I still like the guy, respect him, think he's a great representative of WWE, and think more people should take note of his legacy of great matches in WWE. But his fans are driving me crazy.



In conclusion: follow me Zooey! Follow me, follow me, follow me!