You may think I’ve gone ‘round the bend, but I consider an entrenched and pissed off Tea Party to be a good sign. For millennia, Western society stood on a flawed premise … that for us all to be safe and well, we must protect and appease those who are “destined” to rule … to hold the wealth … to be “Father Knows Best.” There was an assumption of wisdom and benevolence in that class of people – for Centuries exclusively affluent White Males – designated as being “in charge.”

In recent decades, I think well-intended efforts to right wrongs against racial and ethnic groups and women to some extent went awry. As a trainer in the non-profit sector, I am frequently asked how to diversify a board, but, consistently, what they really want is to find people who look different but think just like that “ruling class” has always thought. Too often charity has been just another tool of oppression. Sadly, as in the case of my state’s minority female but Republican governor, those from formerly oppressed groups welcomed into that ruling circle frequently embrace the very worst of an elitist mentality. This may include the belief that any tactics are justified in maintaining their power.

Back to the original thought, the belief that drastic effort to hold the “high ground” on the part of those once protected from consequences of abuse of power … well, this lets me know that Society is changing at its very core. It’s going to be messy, but the process, once begun, will run its course. And so, while many focus on the worthy effort of “defeating” entrenched power brokers, I’m trying to prepare for the next obstacle. Oh yeah, and in the process, I’m striving to nurture my own healing.

Call it what you want, the majority of the world’s population has been victimized by the elite … the greedy and the powerful. It was the root of slavery, the root of subjugation of women, and the root of designating the majority of population groups as inferior and subservient. It was the root of designating gays/lesbians/bisexuals and transgendered people as “abominations” whose existence would destroy the fabric of society. I attribute much of the recent change on the advent of the Internet and the ruling class’ inability to control information and thereby direct the thinking of the people they rule.

When someone or a whole bunch of someone’s are betrayed or abused, there are scars, even long-term open wounds unable to heal. I fear that this pandemic of open wounds may be our next great social threat. I’m currently participating in an online discussion on goodreads.com asking the question “Is Love Enough?” It’s been an interesting discussion, sometimes dominated by those who, for some reason, want to make love appear irrelevant to world change. Through it all, I’ve come to my own conclusion. Here ‘tis.

Love may not be enough, but nothing else is worth anything without it.

It’s time to heal, to work as individuals and as social sectors to make ourselves a whole and healthy as possible. Maybe then, we truly can evolve into a better world. I offer the following suggestions from my own life and process of healing from the scars of being “different” in a fundamentalist family.

• Acknowledge the hurts and betrayals and feel the anger and grief, but then let it go as you can. Do not let it evolve into hate for hate destroys us all.
• Know that you did not deserve to be used or betrayed. Do not feel unworthy because you were victimized.
• Don’t wait for an apology or vindication from those who oppressed. For a convoluted cocktail of reasons, most will never be able to acknowledge to themselves the wrong they committed, but that is their “cross to bear.”
• Stand strong and say “no” to abuse or oppression whenever possible. If it’s not possible, then do not internalize any feelings of self-contempt because you cannot change the world in that moment.
• Stand together. If all of us stand up every time we see a wrong, those wrongs will begin to disappear.
• Don’t judge the oppressor. More often than not, they suffer from the dysfunction of privilege. While inequities must be addressed, the road to healing for those broken by wealth and power can only be achieved through love, strength and patience. As a pastor once told me, people don’t change until they’re the ones who hurt.
• Take the high road. Don’t be drawn into name calling and hateful acts. If you are solid in your own truth, you can’t be distracted by little battles and conflicts that raise so much dust we can’t see the big picture.
• If someone tries to drag you down to their level, ignore them. Part of the cycle of power has been a practice of shouting down and belittling those who disagree. You don’t have to win an argument to be right in your own self.

Recently, a conservative relative complained to me about the liberal media “rubbing their nose” in same-sex marriage with televised broadcasts of marriage ceremonies. My answer to that is that when the chains are removed, the slave may sing and dance, but not to “rub the nose” of his or her former owner. It is the simple celebration of freedom finally gained.

Sing and dance as new freedom comes. Feel pity for those who think it is all about their loss of privilege.
Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing