Contrary to the title of this post, I’m definitely not of “rock star” status yet. A week ago I released my second novel, Never Fall, which is the second installment of my Faithfully Yours series. At the same time, I made my first book, Never Let Go, available for free for five days. The idea was to have the first book easily available to those who wanted to read Book Two but hadn’t yet read Book One.

Let’s be honest-the free book flew off the shelves, which made me giddy. The number of people who snatched it up surprised me. Sales on the second book? That also threw me. They sucked, truthfully. I was disappointed and really had a “lightbulb” moment about the fact that this indie author industry is a tough nut to crack. I’m not giving up, though there have been times over the past week where I said, “What’s the point?” I can’t compete with authors who have more money, time, experience, and talent than me.

But I love writing, and for the few people who DO enjoy my books, I will carry on. As of tomorrow, I will have been a published author for a year. One might say, “Wow, a whole year?” or, conversely, “Look at everything I’ve done in just one year.” It depends on your perspective. The negative side of me says, “I should have a much bigger audience by now.” But the logical, patient side says, “I’ve learned a lot in the past year, have made a lot of friends, and I’ve become a better writer.”  Obviously, my confidence is better when I have the positive outlook.

Unfortunately I’ve been gifted with a pessimistic viewpoint. (I get it from my dad, but don’t tell him I said that). When I see other new authors post about their successes – pictures of their Amazon rankings, Tweets from readers, fan-made teasers – I feel like a nobody. This is me being very honest. It’s not that I don’t want them to succeed, trust me. These are my friends and I truly believe they deserve it. But sometimes I feel like a beat-up Pinto next to a sleek Ferrari. Will I ever be that Ferrari?

The answer is “I don’t know,” but I sure plan on trying. Even if it takes me years and several more books, I will strive to find an audience for my books. Those who have read my books have sung my praises. They believe in me. So I have to believe in me. The insecure 12-year-old girl inside me needs to take a hike so I can stand strong and show myself.

Thank you for reading. If you like sweet rock star romance, my books are available at Amazon.com, links are below.

Never Fall (Faithfully Yours #2): http://amzn.to/1WXeqRm

Never Let Go (Faithfully Yours #1): http://amzn.to/1WXfmVR