Sarah’s review of A horse named Fly: Can his trauma be turned into trust? A novel with horsemanship > Likes and Comments
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Thank you so much for your review. I’m moved i to tears. Your words sure will help making the world a better place for our beloved horses.
You're welcome.
I have autism and PTSD. So in many ways I am like a horse. I often do not understand why people do many things because to me what they do is not logical so I dont understand it. But often people react to my not understanding with anger. They yell + scream at me. Once I got yelled at because I had called a piece of furniture a "dresser" because it had looked like a dresser to me but it was actually a "chest of drawers". I had never even heard of that before. But the older woman who was with me started to yell at me in a very angry voice about the thing. Because she had thought that an adult is supposed to know these things. But my family never knew these things. My family never even SEEN a chest of drawers before. That stuff was beyond their experience. There are countless incidents just like this. And they only make me upset. Because I also do not understand why it matters. Or why it makes them so angry.
And I do horse therapy. It helps with the autism and the PTSD. Working with horses gives me more confidence. Often I feel they are the only family I have. I feel that way right now. Because the only relative I have right now is mad at me because I had self advocated for myself. And the whole thing is only confusing and it makes no sense at all - but then I think differently.
But I have been seeing horses since 2019. I saw them out in the pasture the first time in January 2019. I didnt think I could go up to them as I didnt know them. And they didnt know me. And they were big. But I went halfway and then I made that smoochy sound you use to call a cat. To my surprise two horses came to me. One of them was a alpha horse George. The other was his "girlfriend" Grace. Only later I had heard its very unusual for George to go to a new person. He never does that. So my two person horse team was surprised. I have been riding George for a few years now. The first few years was only ground work like grooming and trying to figure out what their body language means. But I am not the typical horse therapy person. I wanted to actually learn about horses as I was horse crazy as a kid but I only had pictures to tape to the wall... So out of the blue I would show up at horse therapy and ask them questions about foundering (laminitis). I could actually see how her face went blank as she had to recall the unexpected information!
I know back during the summer I had arrived on the ranch and it was raining bad. They had Toby (who is a haflinger) in the indoor arena. He was freaking out. Very upset. They told me I was supposed to calm him down. He was dashing about with white eyes and calling for the other horses. I think he was scared of the heavy rain pounding on the roof with the thunder. Anyway I had thought it sounded like a challenge. But then I decided to try something. I went up to Toby and I placed my hands on him. I stood with eyes closed, feeling calm and I thought the words "calm" and "zen" . and he actually grew calm. In fact he started playing. He was picking up the grooming bag in his mouth and swinging it around. Now I had a relationship with Toby too as I was riding him the previous winter. Toby is 23. And when I had my hands on him doing the zen thing it had thundered but he didnt even flinch. We can apparently regulate the others nervous system.
I have sat on the grass in the pasture with the horses totally lying down flat, their heads on the ground too. Including George. George is 23 as well. He is a Tennessee walker.
I go see my horses every thursday morning. I am learning two point at the moment. At the end of the sessions we try it. I have also practiced how to lean sideways in the saddle to open a gate. Often we do weight lifting with weights while riding. George had energy lately and he was doing a working walk. And then he gets horse treats at the end of the session. I cannot believe he eats those things as they look very unnatural but he sure seems to like them.
I have not learned the trot yet although I have tried it a few times last winter. Its Toby who does the trot as George only does it for 2 or 3 steps.
So at the age of 48 I started to work with real horses. And often just thinking about them makes me emotional. Often I do not know why. I do not know why I feel so connected to horses when the majority of my life I was horseless. And to be honest I do not think horse therapy teaches me about human behavior (as they say its supposed to). Because horses do not go make dinner dates at a restaurant (not that I can go in a restaurant with all of these allergies) or talk about a TV show. They certainly dont yell at you about what a piece of furniture is called. So that part is rather confusing. I think it is teaching me to be an equestrian. But it doesnt teach you about the pitfalls of dealing with illogical humans. Or not from my understanding it does anyway. And humans dont have tails that swoosh flies and they very rarely stomp feet if upset and they dont have relaxed jaw / chewing if they feel relaxed. Horses live totally different than we do, which is why we need a book to explain it clearly. Yet horse therapy is supposed to teach me about human behavior. Which I dont understand at all. It teaches horse behavior and stuff about horses, like how to clean the hoof or how to put the tack on (and to remember those velcro things that hook around the straps on the girth). I mean it WORKS - horse therapy is very effective for one's mood / emotions but I kind of doubt if it teaches about human behavior. I hope that makes sense.
I think I learn something new about horses or the tack each time I go to the ranch. Hopefully January will be nice (and not -20 F) so the ranch will be open. So far we are having a warm winter. No real snow yet.
Dear Sarah, Thank you for sharing your story. I have read it several times and have been moved to tears. Both in anger at how others treat you but also in joy that the horses give you so much value in your life. I am overwhelmed by your deep insight and connection in and with the horses. You are a true animal lover. When you are with the horses, they feel your true love for them, which is without expectations but a pure desire to simply be together - two souls, connected in loving presence.
When you are with the horses, I have no doubt that you give them healing. It was, among other things, what you did with the haflinger when he was so upset.
You are a beautiful person inside and out, thank you for you and thank you for making the world a more beautiful place.
I apologize for this Google translation from Danish to English
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Lena
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Dec 31, 2023 05:19AM
Thank you so much for your review. I’m moved i to tears. Your words sure will help making the world a better place for our beloved horses.
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You're welcome. I have autism and PTSD. So in many ways I am like a horse. I often do not understand why people do many things because to me what they do is not logical so I dont understand it. But often people react to my not understanding with anger. They yell + scream at me. Once I got yelled at because I had called a piece of furniture a "dresser" because it had looked like a dresser to me but it was actually a "chest of drawers". I had never even heard of that before. But the older woman who was with me started to yell at me in a very angry voice about the thing. Because she had thought that an adult is supposed to know these things. But my family never knew these things. My family never even SEEN a chest of drawers before. That stuff was beyond their experience. There are countless incidents just like this. And they only make me upset. Because I also do not understand why it matters. Or why it makes them so angry.
And I do horse therapy. It helps with the autism and the PTSD. Working with horses gives me more confidence. Often I feel they are the only family I have. I feel that way right now. Because the only relative I have right now is mad at me because I had self advocated for myself. And the whole thing is only confusing and it makes no sense at all - but then I think differently.
But I have been seeing horses since 2019. I saw them out in the pasture the first time in January 2019. I didnt think I could go up to them as I didnt know them. And they didnt know me. And they were big. But I went halfway and then I made that smoochy sound you use to call a cat. To my surprise two horses came to me. One of them was a alpha horse George. The other was his "girlfriend" Grace. Only later I had heard its very unusual for George to go to a new person. He never does that. So my two person horse team was surprised. I have been riding George for a few years now. The first few years was only ground work like grooming and trying to figure out what their body language means. But I am not the typical horse therapy person. I wanted to actually learn about horses as I was horse crazy as a kid but I only had pictures to tape to the wall... So out of the blue I would show up at horse therapy and ask them questions about foundering (laminitis). I could actually see how her face went blank as she had to recall the unexpected information!
I know back during the summer I had arrived on the ranch and it was raining bad. They had Toby (who is a haflinger) in the indoor arena. He was freaking out. Very upset. They told me I was supposed to calm him down. He was dashing about with white eyes and calling for the other horses. I think he was scared of the heavy rain pounding on the roof with the thunder. Anyway I had thought it sounded like a challenge. But then I decided to try something. I went up to Toby and I placed my hands on him. I stood with eyes closed, feeling calm and I thought the words "calm" and "zen" . and he actually grew calm. In fact he started playing. He was picking up the grooming bag in his mouth and swinging it around. Now I had a relationship with Toby too as I was riding him the previous winter. Toby is 23. And when I had my hands on him doing the zen thing it had thundered but he didnt even flinch. We can apparently regulate the others nervous system.
I have sat on the grass in the pasture with the horses totally lying down flat, their heads on the ground too. Including George. George is 23 as well. He is a Tennessee walker.
I go see my horses every thursday morning. I am learning two point at the moment. At the end of the sessions we try it. I have also practiced how to lean sideways in the saddle to open a gate. Often we do weight lifting with weights while riding. George had energy lately and he was doing a working walk. And then he gets horse treats at the end of the session. I cannot believe he eats those things as they look very unnatural but he sure seems to like them.
I have not learned the trot yet although I have tried it a few times last winter. Its Toby who does the trot as George only does it for 2 or 3 steps.
So at the age of 48 I started to work with real horses. And often just thinking about them makes me emotional. Often I do not know why. I do not know why I feel so connected to horses when the majority of my life I was horseless. And to be honest I do not think horse therapy teaches me about human behavior (as they say its supposed to). Because horses do not go make dinner dates at a restaurant (not that I can go in a restaurant with all of these allergies) or talk about a TV show. They certainly dont yell at you about what a piece of furniture is called. So that part is rather confusing. I think it is teaching me to be an equestrian. But it doesnt teach you about the pitfalls of dealing with illogical humans. Or not from my understanding it does anyway. And humans dont have tails that swoosh flies and they very rarely stomp feet if upset and they dont have relaxed jaw / chewing if they feel relaxed. Horses live totally different than we do, which is why we need a book to explain it clearly. Yet horse therapy is supposed to teach me about human behavior. Which I dont understand at all. It teaches horse behavior and stuff about horses, like how to clean the hoof or how to put the tack on (and to remember those velcro things that hook around the straps on the girth). I mean it WORKS - horse therapy is very effective for one's mood / emotions but I kind of doubt if it teaches about human behavior. I hope that makes sense.
I think I learn something new about horses or the tack each time I go to the ranch. Hopefully January will be nice (and not -20 F) so the ranch will be open. So far we are having a warm winter. No real snow yet.
Dear Sarah, Thank you for sharing your story. I have read it several times and have been moved to tears. Both in anger at how others treat you but also in joy that the horses give you so much value in your life. I am overwhelmed by your deep insight and connection in and with the horses. You are a true animal lover. When you are with the horses, they feel your true love for them, which is without expectations but a pure desire to simply be together - two souls, connected in loving presence. When you are with the horses, I have no doubt that you give them healing. It was, among other things, what you did with the haflinger when he was so upset.
You are a beautiful person inside and out, thank you for you and thank you for making the world a more beautiful place.
I apologize for this Google translation from Danish to English
