Griffin Mage #3, Cover and Description > Likes and Comments

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message 1: by Oldman_JE (new)

Oldman_JE Looks like you were in the groove. :-P

"Now" is the only thing you might want to shift your focus to. Maybe a period after "resolved", then cut "and now", start "Six years later" and cut another "Now", An "uneasy peace". Cut a "now", and "As three countries". Or something to that effect.


message 2: by Oldman_JE (new)

Oldman_JE Have to ask about the no one knows why a forced peace isn't going so swell, though.


message 3: by Rachel (new)

Rachel Neumeier Thanks! Good things to look at! I didn't realize I used "now" three times in three sentences. Ugh.


message 4: by Oldman_JE (new)

Oldman_JE Rachel wrote: "Thanks! Good things to look at! I didn't realize I used "now" three times in three sentences. Ugh."

Welcome! Don't know why I'm breaking it down to sentence level. You're quite capable of doing so. Oh well.


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