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Griffin Mage #3, Cover and Description
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message 1:
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Oldman_JE
(new)
Sep 26, 2024 08:22AM
Looks like you were in the groove. :-P
"Now" is the only thing you might want to shift your focus to. Maybe a period after "resolved", then cut "and now", start "Six years later" and cut another "Now", An "uneasy peace". Cut a "now", and "As three countries". Or something to that effect.
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message 2:
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Oldman_JE
(new)
Sep 26, 2024 08:43AM
Have to ask about the no one knows why a forced peace isn't going so swell, though.
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message 3:
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Rachel
(new)
Sep 26, 2024 09:21AM
Thanks! Good things to look at! I didn't realize I used "now" three times in three sentences. Ugh.
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message 4:
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Oldman_JE
(new)
Sep 26, 2024 10:49AM
Rachel wrote: "Thanks! Good things to look at! I didn't realize I used "now" three times in three sentences. Ugh."
Welcome! Don't know why I'm breaking it down to sentence level. You're quite capable of doing so. Oh well.
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"Now" is the only thing you might want to shift your focus to. Maybe a period after "resolved", then cut "and now", start "Six years later" and cut another "Now", An "uneasy peace". Cut a "now", and "As three countries". Or something to that effect.