Tara’s review of The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About > Likes and Comments
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Нестор wrote: "Very interesting.
A few days ago I read that Oprah called this book her best book read in 2024.
I wonder who and what made her say it"
Hi Hecrop. Jamie and I watched that video with Oprah. I took notes. I was stunned. But we need to remember that she promoted Dr Oz and Dr Phil as well. Sadly we live in times of easy answers to easy questions... Or indeed easy answers to questions that no one is asking... (!!!) Have a great 2025. My respects. txxx
Are we all just looking for a guru/flavor of the month. Serious grounding - the best I have found are 12 Step groups. It takes a little longer than a month, but it's not lonely in there. It doesn't matter if drinking, or thinking is the problem, or nothing easily identifiable. We belong if we say we belong. I belong to the stories. I learned my own story. The solution is a practice grounded in decades of results. Lives changed, turned around, results demonstrated by millions.
Carla wrote: "Are we all just looking for a guru/flavor of the month. Serious grounding - the best I have found are 12 Step groups. It takes a little longer than a month, but it's not lonely in there. It doesn't..."
My respects, Carla. The 12 steps programmes have proven - qualitatively and quantitatively - to be of profound value. Consciousness is crucial. Planning is crucial. Community is crucial. Agreed. The work continues. Profound work. Thank you for your comment. And I confirm - this book summons shortcuts. No research. We can do better. Thank you, Carla for your great work. Have a great 2025. txxx
Thank you. You saved me thirty bucks and a couple of nights I'd never get back.
Donna wrote: "Thank you. You saved me thirty bucks and a couple of nights I'd never get back."
Hi Donna. Glad to be of service :) And yes. It is a shocker. I still feel sick about it - including the disrespect of husband. Shocking... Hope you have a great 2025 :) txxx
Honestly, you articulated all of my reservations about this book. Taking it off my TBR shelf
What would you recommend reading on this subject?
Kathleen wrote: "What would you recommend reading on this subject?"
Hi Kathleen - what subject area is of interest to you? Let Them Theory is not really on a subject, but self absorption and disrespect of other people. If I can help - I'd love to. What is your focus? txxx
I’d love to know how a qualified lawyer is ‘under educated’ as you wrote in your post?
I loved this book and it is far from the notion of disrespecting others. But to each their own opinion!
If this isn’t the right book for the topic, do you have a suggestions that would be worth our time? :)
This book has already helped me tremendously!! I guess I’d rather read from someone that has actually experienced it all. I’m so grateful for this book
You are amazing. Someone recommended this book to me last evening and I had an eye roll just at the title, thinking back on the poem I saw on a meme and thinking this was that extrapolated. There’s a whole list of people for whose advice I have no interest in letting them into my skull… I’ll put Mel Robbins in the bin with Elizabeth Gilbert, and for fucking sure, Glennon Doyle. We are dying for books from actual scholars with actual evidence. Your review was a mic drop and I read it out loud to my partner. Thank you!!
ok wow i was gonna read it but i'll save my time
Interesting. A post like this just makes me wonder who you are as a person. I respectfully disagree. I am an educated woman who resonated with many of Robbins’ examples and experiences. I believe it is worth one’s time to learn how to separate your thoughts and feelings and finally pivot to where you want to go.
Hm. Perhaps “let them” be a hater. 😁
Ali wrote: "Interesting. A post like this just makes me wonder who you are as a person. I respectfully disagree. I am an educated woman who resonated with many of Robbins’ examples and experiences. I believe i..."
Good morning Ali. I wish you well. I have also read your review. That is the gift of Good Reads. It is a deterritorialized, disintermediated digital platform for people to consider how to spend their reading time. And I welcome you discovering who I am as a person if that is of interest to you. A basic Google search will provide you with that information. I am completely transparent, and welcome verification. It is very straight forward to separate thoughts and feelings. Neither are evidence or verification or knowledge. We living in times that require much greater complexity than an individual woman telling us about her husband and children. My respects - and I wish you a successful 2025.
Tami wrote: "This book has already helped me tremendously!! I guess I’d rather read from someone that has actually experienced it all. I’m so grateful for this book"
Hi Tami - I hope you are well. I'm intrigued by your comment - "experienced it all." What is "all" as configured by the parameters of this very basic book, written by a woman in the United States? I welcome the opportunity to learn how you are defining "it all." That will help my work. Thank you very much for your time.
Rachel wrote: "I’d love to know how a qualified lawyer is ‘under educated’ as you wrote in your post?"
Hi Rachel - lovely to hear from you. She hold a bachelor degree and a JD. As she specified herself, she is offering commentary without qualifications in the field she is discussion. Ms Robbins raised - herself - the fact that she does not hold qualifications in the field of the book. She holds no expertise in research, no expertise in methodology, ontology or epistemology, and does not understand that a personal feeling is not knowledge. I understand we live in a time of influencers, rather than researchers. But knowledge requires the deployment of evidence to ensure a generalizability beyond a data set of one. My respects to you.
Sarah wrote: "If this isn’t the right book for the topic, do you have a suggestions that would be worth our time? :)"
Great to hear from you, Sarah. Tell me what 'the topic' is - very happy to provide a reference list. tx
Krista wrote: "I loved this book and it is far from the notion of disrespecting others. But to each their own opinion!"
Hi Krista - that is why I presented a series of quotations. So that prospective readers could see the 'evidence' deployed in this book. The disrespect of other human beings is catastrophic. And the notion that an 'opinion' is of value is why the world is in the mess it is. Opinions about a husband or children are not the foundation of a 'theory.' Theory requires evidence, methodological competence, ontological consciousness, and epistemological expertise. There are too many opinions. There is not enough expertise. That is why we are in the current mess, in 2025. My respects. I wish you a powerful 2025.
Good to know that I am not the only person who was troubled by calling this a “theory”
Ronnie wrote: "Good to know that I am not the only person who was troubled by calling this a “theory”"
Spot on, Ronnie. We live in a time where people confuse a 'vibe' with a 'theory.' Let's hope we survive this era - and enter - as my late husband described it - Theoretical Times... txxx
I'm not sure the political rant helped the review
I absolutely loved your review, your style of writing and the way you make an argument. I was only mildly interested in the read but I’ll surely be following your book reviews in the future!
My therapist recommended this book. I purchased on audible with my monthly credit and immediately returned after reading the reviews. If you have any recommendations on how to survive a capitalist hellscape or earn a living wage in Florida as a single mom of 3 (I know, very specific 🙃), I will take those recommendations earnestly. I’m so sick of people grifting and looking out for themselves even though it’s what our society teaches us to do. I’m am hoping to raise my children better against all the odds. Thank you!
How can you predict this is the worst book you’ll read? Honest question
Your review, actually makes me want to read her book more than I did. One could have your attitude, I prefer the authors I think.
Donald Trump became President again because he conquered the NYC CRE market, TV, Branding, had been a successful President (before ‘electing’ a near corpse who siphoned taxpayer dollars for 6 decades. Trump won because he included Democrat Climate Stalwart RFK, Democrat Tech Genius Elon Musk, and several other strong teammates who all wanted to give their time to help improve the American economy, security, through actual leadership and reforming a fairly broken system of fraud, waste & abuse. I doubt this book will explain any of that.
It sounds as though you might need to open your mind to a lot of ideas that you would never imagine. You just might improve your life.
Excellent review! Any of the Trumpettes commenting here are making your point exactly. Not everyone’s “theory” is correct and ideas aren’t facts. Nor are they “alternative facts” because they don’t exist. They only serve to coddle to those who peaked in high school and somehow believed that they were critical thinkers because they managed to not get knocked up behind the bleachers.
Genuinely what are you talking about
ALL OF THIS! A friend recently recommended this to me. I hate these cult type of books that train you to gaslight yourself and ignore boundaries and speaking up for yourself. I am an academic, highly educated, a doctoral student and teacher. I get everything you said. Thank you for this review.
Thank you so much for your comments! Truly rubbish book, yes!
I agree wholeheartedly with your comments!
I mean, to be fair, most Self Help writers throw their families under the bus for the sake of a book about their life. Mel Robbin’s is not the first or last to do it.
Also, I totally get your point that not all people can afford to Let Them. But I think this book is aimed at middle class people, living B- lives who want to get their lives to A- level. I think you’re missing the book’s intended purpose and audience.
The concept of someone ruining their life over a book/media/propaganda is (while, yes, escalated a lot lately) not new, so I just think it’s naive to have this much hatred towards one author. The ability to think critically is a very widespread problem—not only Mel Robbins’s.
This is a great book. I love it . It is helping a lot Especially emotionally mental well being.
I don't know your story, but as a sexual abuse survivor and having had emotional issues like fear and shame because of lies I believed about myself, I do know that victimization is not my choice, but choosing to remain a victim is my choice. I didn't read this book and don't want to because the author didn't credit her book to the creator of Let Them (a poem) so I'm not defending it, but I do know that success in life (the kind that matters in your spirit, not outward show or wealth) depends on the power of your own choice. No one has to remain a victim. It's all about your mindset and what you choose to believe about yourself-- what others think or the truth. Many broken people are broken because they choose to stay a victim. We can't change what others did to us, but we have the power to choose to move forward and live and forgive and love and receive love. We can accept that something happened to us, and release carrying the burden. It's not easy, but it's possible.
Oh thank God! I've been reading this and getting angrier and angrier and so weirded out that everyone else seems to think this deeply unkind, individualistic, white middle-class garbage is great. Thank you Tara for showing me I'm not losing my mind after all.
What do you mean by 'late capitalism'?
Seems like the book might have hit a nerve? Caused some unwanted self-reflection? Maybe not, but just an observation.
I’ve read this book and my opinion is different to yours. I love Mel’s perspective where you send your attention to allowing yourself to focus on what’s important to you rather than judging other’s choices. It sounds like common sense- it’s advice that is as old as time- and Mel acknowledges that this is not a new concept- but it was new to her. She reflects on her own revelations and I respect these stories because they are good examples of how common thought habits that only cause negativity.
I saw the Oprah interview and it was enough to let me know this was a DO NOT READ. She came across dishonest and after learning all that I have since the publication, I was right.
I have a critical view of the book myself, but you are a definition of a smug pseudointellectual. As a person who was homeless, in a park, not even anywahere inside like a shelter: Please, don't speak on my behalf.
Are you one of those people who think they are superior because you went to college? Seems like it. There's nothing like real-life experiences, and I feel you have had none...
I think everyone is being really hard on Mel Robbin's. If her book helps one person find the strength within themselves to be a stronger individual, than she did a good job. It took a lot of courage to open up about her true life experience and come out stronger on the other side. I read the book. Something's I agree with. Something's I don't and that's ok!
I enjoyed this book. Life is not cut and dry and one book can not speak to every individual situation. You my friend need to consider your life and your situation and apply the theory in a way that fits you. I listened to the friend chapter and while some of it resonated some did not. I was recently destroyed unfairly by an individual I thought was a very close friend. I was blind sided. This particular scenario was not outlined. That's ok. We have different facets of our life and different relationships. It's not a one size fits all. People are too EXTRA. Talk about privilege.
Also victim mentality hurts us all. I'm not wealthy. I have zero help. I've accomplished what I have on my own. It sucked at times. I have friends who are adults are get tons of help and assistance from their family. We are all different. My challenges have shaped who I am. My shortcomings are not a weakness. They are parts of who I am. We do have the power. Mind over matter. It's just exponentially harder. That doesn't make us less of a person. It makes it that much sweeter when we overcome shit. Some people don't overcome. It's very sad. But I'm not casting stones at Mel Robbin's and her theory because her life and challenges are different. Just stop. Don't embrace being a victim. Embrace the challenge. Embrace the struggle.
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Нестор wrote: "Very interesting.A few days ago I read that Oprah called this book her best book read in 2024.
I wonder who and what made her say it"
Hi Hecrop. Jamie and I watched that video with Oprah. I took notes. I was stunned. But we need to remember that she promoted Dr Oz and Dr Phil as well. Sadly we live in times of easy answers to easy questions... Or indeed easy answers to questions that no one is asking... (!!!) Have a great 2025. My respects. txxx
Are we all just looking for a guru/flavor of the month. Serious grounding - the best I have found are 12 Step groups. It takes a little longer than a month, but it's not lonely in there. It doesn't matter if drinking, or thinking is the problem, or nothing easily identifiable. We belong if we say we belong. I belong to the stories. I learned my own story. The solution is a practice grounded in decades of results. Lives changed, turned around, results demonstrated by millions.
Carla wrote: "Are we all just looking for a guru/flavor of the month. Serious grounding - the best I have found are 12 Step groups. It takes a little longer than a month, but it's not lonely in there. It doesn't..."My respects, Carla. The 12 steps programmes have proven - qualitatively and quantitatively - to be of profound value. Consciousness is crucial. Planning is crucial. Community is crucial. Agreed. The work continues. Profound work. Thank you for your comment. And I confirm - this book summons shortcuts. No research. We can do better. Thank you, Carla for your great work. Have a great 2025. txxx
Thank you. You saved me thirty bucks and a couple of nights I'd never get back.
Donna wrote: "Thank you. You saved me thirty bucks and a couple of nights I'd never get back."Hi Donna. Glad to be of service :) And yes. It is a shocker. I still feel sick about it - including the disrespect of husband. Shocking... Hope you have a great 2025 :) txxx
Honestly, you articulated all of my reservations about this book. Taking it off my TBR shelf
What would you recommend reading on this subject?
Kathleen wrote: "What would you recommend reading on this subject?"Hi Kathleen - what subject area is of interest to you? Let Them Theory is not really on a subject, but self absorption and disrespect of other people. If I can help - I'd love to. What is your focus? txxx
I’d love to know how a qualified lawyer is ‘under educated’ as you wrote in your post?
I loved this book and it is far from the notion of disrespecting others. But to each their own opinion!
If this isn’t the right book for the topic, do you have a suggestions that would be worth our time? :)
This book has already helped me tremendously!! I guess I’d rather read from someone that has actually experienced it all. I’m so grateful for this book
You are amazing. Someone recommended this book to me last evening and I had an eye roll just at the title, thinking back on the poem I saw on a meme and thinking this was that extrapolated. There’s a whole list of people for whose advice I have no interest in letting them into my skull… I’ll put Mel Robbins in the bin with Elizabeth Gilbert, and for fucking sure, Glennon Doyle. We are dying for books from actual scholars with actual evidence. Your review was a mic drop and I read it out loud to my partner. Thank you!!
ok wow i was gonna read it but i'll save my time
Interesting. A post like this just makes me wonder who you are as a person. I respectfully disagree. I am an educated woman who resonated with many of Robbins’ examples and experiences. I believe it is worth one’s time to learn how to separate your thoughts and feelings and finally pivot to where you want to go. Hm. Perhaps “let them” be a hater. 😁
Ali wrote: "Interesting. A post like this just makes me wonder who you are as a person. I respectfully disagree. I am an educated woman who resonated with many of Robbins’ examples and experiences. I believe i..."Good morning Ali. I wish you well. I have also read your review. That is the gift of Good Reads. It is a deterritorialized, disintermediated digital platform for people to consider how to spend their reading time. And I welcome you discovering who I am as a person if that is of interest to you. A basic Google search will provide you with that information. I am completely transparent, and welcome verification. It is very straight forward to separate thoughts and feelings. Neither are evidence or verification or knowledge. We living in times that require much greater complexity than an individual woman telling us about her husband and children. My respects - and I wish you a successful 2025.
Tami wrote: "This book has already helped me tremendously!! I guess I’d rather read from someone that has actually experienced it all. I’m so grateful for this book"Hi Tami - I hope you are well. I'm intrigued by your comment - "experienced it all." What is "all" as configured by the parameters of this very basic book, written by a woman in the United States? I welcome the opportunity to learn how you are defining "it all." That will help my work. Thank you very much for your time.
Rachel wrote: "I’d love to know how a qualified lawyer is ‘under educated’ as you wrote in your post?"Hi Rachel - lovely to hear from you. She hold a bachelor degree and a JD. As she specified herself, she is offering commentary without qualifications in the field she is discussion. Ms Robbins raised - herself - the fact that she does not hold qualifications in the field of the book. She holds no expertise in research, no expertise in methodology, ontology or epistemology, and does not understand that a personal feeling is not knowledge. I understand we live in a time of influencers, rather than researchers. But knowledge requires the deployment of evidence to ensure a generalizability beyond a data set of one. My respects to you.
Sarah wrote: "If this isn’t the right book for the topic, do you have a suggestions that would be worth our time? :)"Great to hear from you, Sarah. Tell me what 'the topic' is - very happy to provide a reference list. tx
Krista wrote: "I loved this book and it is far from the notion of disrespecting others. But to each their own opinion!"Hi Krista - that is why I presented a series of quotations. So that prospective readers could see the 'evidence' deployed in this book. The disrespect of other human beings is catastrophic. And the notion that an 'opinion' is of value is why the world is in the mess it is. Opinions about a husband or children are not the foundation of a 'theory.' Theory requires evidence, methodological competence, ontological consciousness, and epistemological expertise. There are too many opinions. There is not enough expertise. That is why we are in the current mess, in 2025. My respects. I wish you a powerful 2025.
Good to know that I am not the only person who was troubled by calling this a “theory”
Ronnie wrote: "Good to know that I am not the only person who was troubled by calling this a “theory”"Spot on, Ronnie. We live in a time where people confuse a 'vibe' with a 'theory.' Let's hope we survive this era - and enter - as my late husband described it - Theoretical Times... txxx
I'm not sure the political rant helped the review
I absolutely loved your review, your style of writing and the way you make an argument. I was only mildly interested in the read but I’ll surely be following your book reviews in the future!
My therapist recommended this book. I purchased on audible with my monthly credit and immediately returned after reading the reviews. If you have any recommendations on how to survive a capitalist hellscape or earn a living wage in Florida as a single mom of 3 (I know, very specific 🙃), I will take those recommendations earnestly. I’m so sick of people grifting and looking out for themselves even though it’s what our society teaches us to do. I’m am hoping to raise my children better against all the odds. Thank you!
How can you predict this is the worst book you’ll read? Honest question
Your review, actually makes me want to read her book more than I did. One could have your attitude, I prefer the authors I think.
Donald Trump became President again because he conquered the NYC CRE market, TV, Branding, had been a successful President (before ‘electing’ a near corpse who siphoned taxpayer dollars for 6 decades. Trump won because he included Democrat Climate Stalwart RFK, Democrat Tech Genius Elon Musk, and several other strong teammates who all wanted to give their time to help improve the American economy, security, through actual leadership and reforming a fairly broken system of fraud, waste & abuse. I doubt this book will explain any of that. It sounds as though you might need to open your mind to a lot of ideas that you would never imagine. You just might improve your life.
Excellent review! Any of the Trumpettes commenting here are making your point exactly. Not everyone’s “theory” is correct and ideas aren’t facts. Nor are they “alternative facts” because they don’t exist. They only serve to coddle to those who peaked in high school and somehow believed that they were critical thinkers because they managed to not get knocked up behind the bleachers.
Genuinely what are you talking about
ALL OF THIS! A friend recently recommended this to me. I hate these cult type of books that train you to gaslight yourself and ignore boundaries and speaking up for yourself. I am an academic, highly educated, a doctoral student and teacher. I get everything you said. Thank you for this review.
Thank you so much for your comments! Truly rubbish book, yes!
I agree wholeheartedly with your comments!
I mean, to be fair, most Self Help writers throw their families under the bus for the sake of a book about their life. Mel Robbin’s is not the first or last to do it. Also, I totally get your point that not all people can afford to Let Them. But I think this book is aimed at middle class people, living B- lives who want to get their lives to A- level. I think you’re missing the book’s intended purpose and audience.
The concept of someone ruining their life over a book/media/propaganda is (while, yes, escalated a lot lately) not new, so I just think it’s naive to have this much hatred towards one author. The ability to think critically is a very widespread problem—not only Mel Robbins’s.
This is a great book. I love it . It is helping a lot Especially emotionally mental well being.
I don't know your story, but as a sexual abuse survivor and having had emotional issues like fear and shame because of lies I believed about myself, I do know that victimization is not my choice, but choosing to remain a victim is my choice. I didn't read this book and don't want to because the author didn't credit her book to the creator of Let Them (a poem) so I'm not defending it, but I do know that success in life (the kind that matters in your spirit, not outward show or wealth) depends on the power of your own choice. No one has to remain a victim. It's all about your mindset and what you choose to believe about yourself-- what others think or the truth. Many broken people are broken because they choose to stay a victim. We can't change what others did to us, but we have the power to choose to move forward and live and forgive and love and receive love. We can accept that something happened to us, and release carrying the burden. It's not easy, but it's possible.
Oh thank God! I've been reading this and getting angrier and angrier and so weirded out that everyone else seems to think this deeply unkind, individualistic, white middle-class garbage is great. Thank you Tara for showing me I'm not losing my mind after all.
What do you mean by 'late capitalism'?
Seems like the book might have hit a nerve? Caused some unwanted self-reflection? Maybe not, but just an observation.
I’ve read this book and my opinion is different to yours. I love Mel’s perspective where you send your attention to allowing yourself to focus on what’s important to you rather than judging other’s choices. It sounds like common sense- it’s advice that is as old as time- and Mel acknowledges that this is not a new concept- but it was new to her. She reflects on her own revelations and I respect these stories because they are good examples of how common thought habits that only cause negativity.
I saw the Oprah interview and it was enough to let me know this was a DO NOT READ. She came across dishonest and after learning all that I have since the publication, I was right.
I have a critical view of the book myself, but you are a definition of a smug pseudointellectual. As a person who was homeless, in a park, not even anywahere inside like a shelter: Please, don't speak on my behalf.
Are you one of those people who think they are superior because you went to college? Seems like it. There's nothing like real-life experiences, and I feel you have had none...
I think everyone is being really hard on Mel Robbin's. If her book helps one person find the strength within themselves to be a stronger individual, than she did a good job. It took a lot of courage to open up about her true life experience and come out stronger on the other side. I read the book. Something's I agree with. Something's I don't and that's ok!
I enjoyed this book. Life is not cut and dry and one book can not speak to every individual situation. You my friend need to consider your life and your situation and apply the theory in a way that fits you. I listened to the friend chapter and while some of it resonated some did not. I was recently destroyed unfairly by an individual I thought was a very close friend. I was blind sided. This particular scenario was not outlined. That's ok. We have different facets of our life and different relationships. It's not a one size fits all. People are too EXTRA. Talk about privilege.
Also victim mentality hurts us all. I'm not wealthy. I have zero help. I've accomplished what I have on my own. It sucked at times. I have friends who are adults are get tons of help and assistance from their family. We are all different. My challenges have shaped who I am. My shortcomings are not a weakness. They are parts of who I am. We do have the power. Mind over matter. It's just exponentially harder. That doesn't make us less of a person. It makes it that much sweeter when we overcome shit. Some people don't overcome. It's very sad. But I'm not casting stones at Mel Robbin's and her theory because her life and challenges are different. Just stop. Don't embrace being a victim. Embrace the challenge. Embrace the struggle.
A few days ago I read that Oprah called this book her best book read in 2024.
I wonder who and what made her say it