Transgender, gender-spectrum and Intersex narratives > Likes and Comments

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message 1: by Kaje (last edited Mar 15, 2016 01:43PM) (new)

Kaje Harper This thread is for non-fiction stories, memoirs, links, resources and accounts relating to non-cis-gender identities and concerns, across the gender spectrum. Feel free to add appropriate links.

The Trans 100 aims to provide an overview of the breadth and diversity of work being done in, by, and for the transgender community across the United States. New editions of The Trans 100 list are released every March at a live event in Chicago, Illinois.

Although one speaker made some statements that have put the event into a controversial light this year, you can still see the list - https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B2nE1...


message 2: by K (last edited Mar 31, 2015 10:32AM) (new)


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

Hey! I don't know if this is relevant but I was reading about the Caitlyn Jenner thing. What do you guys think about that?


message 4: by Kaje (last edited Jun 04, 2015 08:12AM) (new)

Kaje Harper Madame Malice wrote: "Hey! I don't know if this is relevant but I was reading about the Caitlyn Jenner thing. What do you guys think about that?"

I think she has a lot more resources than most trans folk in her transition, but she's still brave to put herself out there in front of everyone, especially when her family is not being supportive. She's going to be a big fat target for the haters. (There is already a petition to take away her Olympic medals retroactively for being the wrong gender. Seriously.) She will take some of the heat, and that's not a bad thing because it opens discussions and eyes to the possibilities. I mean, can you imagine 25 years ago having a positive photo shoot of a trans individual on a major magazine on all the news stand racks?

I wish they hadn't airbrushed her Vanity Fair cover so much, because she's going to be hit with those awful paparazzi worst-angle shots and ridiculed for the difference (and because I don't like that it's a crime for women in the public eye to have wrinkles. We're not as valuable if we actually look over 35.) But at the same time, she shows that you can be trans and look excellent (as Aydian Dowling has shown for trans guys as he leads the Men's Health cover voting - http://news.wbfo.org/post/transgender...)

And in a bit of classic serendipity - Man learns amazing lesson in irony after mocking Caitlyn Jenner’s ‘bravery’ in viral Facebook post


message 5: by Rachel (new)

Rachel Eliason I agree with you, Kaje. Caitlyn has a ton of resources that many trans women don't. She also isn't liberal by any stretch of the imagination. Still there is good to be gained from the media coverage and the fact that it creates a conversation.

I liked the irony in that last link. There's an irony in attempting to take away her olympic medals, too. The argument that she was the wrong gender all along means you have to first accept that transwomen are women. So maybe the haters will do us a favor and create one more legal precedent in our favor?


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Yeah I think the whole thing was very interesting and she is really brave considering how adamant she was and how she didn't seem to care what others thought of her which is great. But I also agree about the photo, but then again I don't think any women should be photoshopped.

I Also agree with Rachel because I think you would have to accept her as a woman to say those things and it's weird because why would they take away her medals after all is said and done? They're just creating more drama and trouble that isn't needed.


message 7: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper The IOC has basically said it's a dead issue and they're not even thinking about it.

But in a way, it's a backhand acknowledgement, as you say, to get up a petition that only applies if you really believe she's been a woman all along.

I'm not a big fan of hers in general, but she's taking the heat for moving forward. And I just saw Z.Allora post about her conservative father, who had railed against the idea of trans in the past, that he saw the VF cover and said,

"Father: pause.... "She... well Bruce Jenner won all that gold... I just can't believe it."
Me: I'm very happy she's allowing people who have never bothered to understand anything about transgender people---"
Father: "So you think she was always like that?"
Me: "I've not heard her entire story but I know most people who are transgender have always felt that way."
Father: "I guess I'm happy for... her..."
Me: SHOCKED... "

So even just one person's mind changing is a gift from her to the rest of us.


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

Wow so it's getting people used to the idea little by little


message 9: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper Madame Malice wrote: "Wow so it's getting people used to the idea little by little"

I think that's what makes change happen in the end - repeated exposure to real people who become less scary when you know them. Like all the GIs in WWII where whites and blacks from the South served together, and met each other, which was one of the steps toward desegregation.

All the LGBTQ people standing up and coming out in the recent decades are making folks realize that we are all just people, and there is no real "us" and "them" line. Well, other than the real bigots, of whom we will always have some. (I saw a rant from someone complaining about women having the vote and getting out of "our place" 94 years after suffrage in the US. There will always be haters.)


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

Yeah that's so true!!


message 11: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper And just some great pictures to remind us that trans folk come in all sizes, colors, looks, styles - people are people.

92 Gorgeous Photos That Show What It Really Means To Be Trans


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

Those are nice!


message 13: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper I like just seeing all the people - not celebrities, not air-brushed or gym-buffed, but just ordinary people. Community.


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Yeah it seems more real


message 15: by Kaje (last edited Aug 11, 2015 05:20PM) (new)

Kaje Harper Interesting account of being agender and mentions of the idea of gender fluid in a society that is only just starting to grasp a simple trans narrative.

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/articl...

And a longer exploration from Tyler Ford - "My Life Without Gender" - http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015...


message 16: by Jessica (new)

Jessica Yeah, I'm kinda there myself. I have seen definitions of them but I just can't seem to wrap my head around things like agender, cisgender, gender fluid, etc. Just give me the simplicity of the old LGBT. That is plenty for me to deal with.


message 17: by Kaje (last edited Nov 13, 2019 10:52AM) (new)

Kaje Harper Everything is a spectrum though - sexual orientation and gender. Kinsey had the right idea with his sliding scale. A lot of people are mostly sexually attracted one way or another, but open to the right person at the right time. Some are totally one-sided, some are open to all, some have a kink that matters more than the gender of their partner.

In the same way, gender identity turns out to be a spectrum, from more stereotypical macho guys and feminine girls, any of whom might be trans, through femme guys and butch girls, straight or gay, to gender fluid, agender, bi-gender including some of the drag queens we know whose drag persona is not just an act or a role but an identity.

It's not necessary to understand every place along that map of options, just to respect that someone who says they are different has the right to self-identify. To accept that someone can have a male and female persona, for instance, and not be crazy or split personality or faking it or acting.

But it's an exercise in empathy for me to at least try to put myself in their place and understand.


message 18: by Kaje (last edited Aug 11, 2015 06:11PM) (new)

Kaje Harper I don't know if people are watching "I am Cait" but it appears that she is inviting other transwomen on the show, to help educate viewers about trans lives and issues - "Get to Know 9 Transwomen Featured on I Am Cait" - http://www.brit.co/i-am-cait-caitlyn-...


message 19: by Jules (new)

Jules Vilmur Kaje wrote: "And just some great pictures to remind us that trans folk come in all sizes, colors, looks, styles - people are people.

92 Gorgeous Photos That Show What It Really Means To Be Trans"


Awesome. Thank you. :)


message 21: by Kaje (last edited Aug 18, 2015 08:02AM) (new)

Kaje Harper Only very tangentially related, but I saw this and wanted to share it somewhere:

“when your little girl
asks you if she’s pretty
your heart will drop like a wineglass
on the hardwood floor
part of you will want to say
of course you are, don’t ever question it
and the other part
the part that is clawing at
you
will want to grab her by her shoulders
look straight into the wells of
her eyes until they echo back to you
and say
you do not have to be if you don’t want to
it is not your job
both will feel right
one will feel better
she will only understand the first
when she wants to cut her hair off
or wear her brother’s clothes
you will feel the words in your
mouth like marbles
you do not have to be pretty if you don’t want to
it is not your job”

Caitlyn Siehl


message 22: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper Gender Conference East

Join the Professional Symposium on Friday, November 13 or the Family & Youth Day, Saturday, November 14 in Baltimore, Maryland.


Gender Conference East's mission is to provide a safe and supportive space dedicated to the needs of children and youth across the gender spectrum, as well as their families and the professionals working with them.

http://www.genderconferenceeast.org/?...

The early bird registration deadline for Gender Conference East was extended through September 15.

Gender Spectrum is partnering with PFLAG Howard County-Md., PFLAG NYC, The Ackerman Institute's Gender & Family Project (NY), FreeState Legal Project, and the LGBT Health Resource Center of Chase Brexton Health Care on this event.


message 23: by Kaje (last edited Aug 20, 2015 11:00AM) (new)

Kaje Harper I think it's probably a positive that the US Trans survey is getting so many participants on this first day that their servers are slowed?

http://www.ustranssurvey.org/

The claim is that the data are used for a variety of trans support efforts and policy decisions. It's not a government survey. It's from the National Center for Transgender Equality http://www.transequality.org/tags/us-...


It was linked from TransGriot - http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2015/0...
And by The Advocate - http://www.advocate.com/commentary/20...


Survey is open until Sept 21. As always, if you are under age or not out, be aware of where you are connecting on the Internet. This looks legit, and valuable to have as many voices as possible, but I have no personal knowledge.


message 24: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper An interesting resource - The Gender Book -

"This project started in a cute grey house in Houston, Texas on Marshall street in the part of town called Montrose.

The community on Marshall street was a blend of gender expressions, from the fabulous drag kings to the androgynous couch-crasher, to the soft-butch art teacher, the princess labrador retriever named Jack, little alpha pup named Noah, and a pair of ferrets.

These individuals first helped educate each other, and then themselves, to learn more of what it means to live and express and perform one's gender role.

The more they learned, the more they wanted to share with everyone else. They saw a need around them in transgender friends who wanted more options on their census forms, and transsexual lovers who had to educate their own therapists, and parents wanting to know how to be supportive of their gender-variant kids.

Their solution: the GENDER book."

http://www.thegenderbook.com/


message 25: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper One family's story and some good links at the end of this article - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa...


message 26: by Kaje (last edited Sep 01, 2015 12:32PM) (new)


message 28: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper Your Top 10 Questions About Being Genderqueer Answered - http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/07/t...

I really liked this discussion of questions and issues that arise, as cis-gender folk try to understand what it is to be genderqueer.


message 29: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper And an interesting article about the intersection of drag and transgender issues, that points out the complications - http://youngmormonfeminists.org/2015/... (NB. not entirely appropriate for work/young teens)


message 30: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper And a personal story from a 14 year old trans girl : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jI1c...


message 31: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper Falling in (and Out of) Love Is Complicated When You're Transgender - http://news.yahoo.com/falling-love-co...


message 32: by J.S. (new)

J.S. Frankel The whole issue of Cait being Cait is going to be picked over by those who just don't get it. I'm not really a fan of hers, but I applaud her for doing what SHE thought best for her life.

As for the other transmen and transwomen out there, kudos to them for pushing for what should be their rights. They should have had them long ago. High profile transpeople such as Laverne Cox, Janet Mock or Jenna Talackova (and of course, Caitlyn Jenner) do help, but they have the resources and funds to go through the process. That's great for them. There are many others who simply cannot afford hormone therapy and/or surgery, counseling, etc.. In addition, they have to go through a LOT of social shaming and hurt, just because mainstream society can't get it through their heads that they are what they are.

Kaje's earlier point about Kinsey is well taken. I don't know if I agree with his assertion of "a lot of people being sexually attracted one way or the other" (what does "a lot" mean, and I'm not being snide...just want to know) and in my case, a study of one, I was always attracted to women, but in the end, it doesn't really matter. What does matter is trying to empathize with someone who does things a bit differently and try to get their mindset.

Sorry for the long post...just tossing out my ideas on all of this.


message 33: by Kaje (last edited Sep 15, 2015 07:50AM) (new)

Kaje Harper Well, judging by recent surveys of young people (under 25) in both the UK and the US, close to half said they had some amount of same-sex attraction. (So that's "a lot" in my book.)

At the same time, Kinsey was only looking at sexual attraction, and not at gender. The two are orthoganal, and your gender and your orientation have no real causal connection.

But the fact that we see a continuum of attraction fits with the fact that we also see a continuum of gender, not a dichotomy. Humans are complex creatures, in our self-perceptions and our interactions.

I think the thing that the high profile people do is to open the conversation, applying "trans" to real people not some imaginary "other". The fact that we have seen transgender homecoming kings and queens in American schools, the fact that nations are actually making it easier to change your gender of record, is a measure of the advances in public perception. The fact that transwomen (especially women of color) are still at high risk for violence, assault and murder, or that another high school can have big demonstrations about a trans girl using the girls' bathroom, is a measure of how far we have yet to go.


message 34: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper This parallels the changes in the last few decades, as people became aware that they knew gay and lesbian people as family, friends, and neighbors. When someone you know faces discrimination it becomes much harder to ignore or support the bigotry. My thanks to everyone coming out as trans, and helping Americans realize that trans is part of the spectrum we all share.

Over a quarter (27%) Millennials say they personally know or work with a transgender person, with 30% of female Millennials saying this.
Those age 18-44 are more than twice as likely as those age 45+ to say this (24% vs. 9%)


NEW POLL: Number of Americans who report knowing a transgender person doubles


message 35: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper Another voice in the varied narratives - being transgender without physically transitioning or passing. Self-defining your gender should not depend on forcing the physical changes as well.

NYC Trans Man Who Chose Not To Transition Speaks Out: ‘I’m A Guy’


message 36: by Wren (new)

Wren Kaje wrote: "Another voice in the varied narratives - being transgender without physically transitioning or passing. Self-defining your gender should not depend on forcing the physical changes as well.

NYC T..."



This story gives me hope. I don't want to transition but I want to be recognized as a man.


message 38: by Anna (new)

Anna Kļaviņa Kaje wrote: "This Trans Guy Took A Selfie Every Day For Three Years To Show How His Face Changed

One guy's transition on T - a hopeful journey."


he has such a beautiful smile


message 39: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper Yes - and it's clear how much it means to him to see his appearance fit who he is.


Linda ~ they got the mustard out! ~ Kaje wrote: "This Trans Guy Took A Selfie Every Day For Three Years To Show How His Face Changed

One guy's transition on T - a hopeful journey."


That's a great article.


message 41: by Kaje (last edited Oct 15, 2015 10:52AM) (new)

Kaje Harper A new space online from Gender Spectrum:


The Lounge

The Lounge is a space for teens, parents, and professionals to connect with one another. Members can form their own groups and participate in our broader online community. Meet new people and connect with friends and colleagues online.

http://genderspectrum.org/lounge/

I have joined, but have not yet explored it. It is a moderated forum, and Gender Spectrum has a good reputation in general. As always, be cautious with personal information and contacts when online.


message 42: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper How I finally learned to be comfortable on my nonbinary, transgender journey
Luke Stavrand Woolf
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisf...


message 43: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper A non-binary journey - "Please don't call me 'A girl called Jack'" - http://agirlcalledjack.com/2015/10/22...


message 44: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper Internationally Bestselling Author Comes Out As Transgender

Exclusive: Multi-award-winning YA author James Dawson spoke to BuzzFeed News about his gender transition, why he’s still using “he”, and why he refuses to hide away.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/patrickstrudw...


message 45: by Rainbowheart (last edited Oct 24, 2015 03:02PM) (new)

Rainbowheart I did not know that YA author Heather Brewer also came out as trans. He has a new book releasing in 2016 under his new name, Zac Brewer.

http://www.ew.com/article/2015/06/25/...


message 46: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper So cool to see public figures willing to put themselves into the limelight to increase understanding.


message 47: by Sammy Goode (new)

Sammy Goode This is such a great thread!!!


message 48: by Kaje (new)

Kaje Harper At the 25th annual Southern Comfort Conference, the world's largest gathering of trans people, 500 men and women from around the country came to talk, reflect on the past, and feel free.

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/articl...


message 49: by Kaje (last edited Oct 26, 2015 10:46PM) (new)

Kaje Harper A couple of young adults talk about discovering as teens that they are intersex, - for Intersex Awareness Day. - http://www.mtv.com/news/2356853/disco...


message 50: by Kaje (last edited May 16, 2016 12:39PM) (new)

Kaje Harper "My Gender is an Everything Bagel" - http://www.xojane.com/healthy/my-gend...


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